deepstash

Beta

Get an account to save ideas & make your own & organize them how you wish.

STASHES TO GET YOU STARTED

© Brainstash, Inc

deepstash

Beta

4 Ways to Control Your Emotions in Tense Moments

Find your primal story

Most people have habitual stories they tell in predictable circumstances as well. 

Early life experiences that we perceived at the time to be threats to our safety and worth become encoded in our potent memories.

Reciting a specific script in moments of emotional provocation (e.g. “This can’t hurt me”) weakens trauma-induced reaction that is not relevant in the present moment.

366 SAVES


This is a professional note extracted from an online article.

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

4 Ways to Control Your Emotions in Tense Moments

4 Ways to Control Your Emotions in Tense Moments

https://hbr.org/2016/12/4-ways-to-control-your-emotions-in-tense-moments

hbr.org

5

Key Ideas

Controlling your emotions

The ability to recognize, own, and shape your own emotions is the master skill for deepening intimacy with loved ones, magnifying influence in the workplace, and amplifying our ability to turn ideas into results.

Own the emotion

You can’t change an emotion you don’t own.

Accept responsibility for its existence.  Because an external event always precedes your experience of an emotion, it’s easy to assume that the event caused it. But as long as you believe it was externally caused, you are going to be a victim to your emotions.

Name the story

Emotions are the result of both what happens, and of the story you tell yourself about what happened.

  • A victim story: it absolves you of your responsibility for what happened.
  • A villain story: it exaggerates the faults of others and makes them responsible for what happened.
  • A helpless story: it convinces you that any course of action is pointless.

Challenge the story

You can take control of your emotions by asking yourself questions that provoke you out of your victim, villain, and helpless stories.

For example, transform yourself from victim into an actor, by asking: "What am I pretending not to know about my role in this situation?”

Find your primal story

Most people have habitual stories they tell in predictable circumstances as well. 

Early life experiences that we perceived at the time to be threats to our safety and worth become encoded in our potent memories.

Reciting a specific script in moments of emotional provocation (e.g. “This can’t hurt me”) weakens trauma-induced reaction that is not relevant in the present moment.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

An Uncertain Future

  • The past decade gave rise to the 'Gig' economy, spawning one-click app-based transactions.
  • Artificial Intelligence and automation are further transforming how people live and work.

Future Proof Your Career

Future-proofing your career to stay relevant isn't about learning how to code or going back to college.

It is about having a career plan with a long-term vision, taking into account the current job-market conditions, economic factors, emerging opportunities, personal interests, and family realities.

Shrinking Life Cycle of Jobs

A life cycle of a job is shrinking rapidly, and if you're not re-inventing yourself or pivoting on time, you are rendered out of work sooner than in the past decades.

We need to check our career plan and ask ourselves what skills need to be developed to pursue future opportunities, in this shifting economy.

4 more ideas

Make space to create meaning

Provide digital self-assessment tools and the types of personal exploration exercises that facilitate reflection.  

These mechanisms can help employees identify personal sources...

Provide the right amount of structure

Formal employee programs and activities, such as rotational opportunities, innovation labs, reverse mentoring and milestone experiences, can help employees build deeper, more diverse relationships while promoting growth.

Build strong teams

Deepening relationships is a key source of fulfillment.

Shared experiences help employees come together in ways that build meaningful connections and trust. Activities that provide a common purpose — such as an escape room game or a hackathon — are especially effective.

one more idea

10 Behaviors for Happiness

  1. Let go of the need for specific outcomes
  2. Define your own success and happiness
  3. Fully commit to the things that make you happ...