People who reject you are the minority - Deepstash

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How to Overcome the Pain of Rejection

People who reject you are the minority

  • Estimate how many people you’ve met in your entire life. 
  • Count the number of people who have severely rejected you. 
  • Divide the second number by the first, and you’ll see how the result rarely exceeds 1%.

Is 1% significant? 

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Fear of rejection

The main reason why we are having a hard time declining other people's requests is that we are afraid to be rejected. We are afraid that people might think negatively. It's a heavy burden to carry because with the urge to say yes also comes a lack of self-confidence and self-value.

Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No
  • Saying No Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Person: Saying no doesn't mean that you are being rude, selfish, or unkind. These are all unhelpful beliefs that make it hard to say no. Learning where these beliefs have come from is a great way to learn to let go of them.
  • Knowing Your Value:  Learning to say no is realizing that you are valuable and choosing your own opinion about yourself over others.
  • Is It Really Worth It?: Learning to say no is also deciding if saying yes is really worth it. Think about the anguish, stress, and resentment that saying yes has caused you. Wouldn't it be so much easier and straightforward to just say no in the first place?
Helpful Tips for Saying No
  • Be direct.
  • Don't apologize and give all sorts of reasons.
  • Be honest.
  • Don't delay your response.
  • Be polite.
  • Practice saying no. This will get you feeling a lot more comfortable with saying no.
  • Know your worth. Don't mind what other think of you.
Prepare for rejection

Always have a rejection-processing protocol in place. Debrief with personal and professional support people who can empathize and appreciate your experiences without passing judgment, criticizing or looking to give you immediate advice. 

Overcoming rejection actually occurs from accepting the emotions that come with it.

Find the blessings in rejection

In many cases, rejections are blessings in disguise. Maybe you don't want those customers that rejected your product.

Refer and direct those customers to your competitors that fit their needs. They certainly would not forget the lengths you went to. Such service is rare.

Feed your growth mindset

You might initially doubt yourself, question your competency and your self-worth but after you have weathered the storm, activate your growth mindset and start asking questions: 

What can I do differently? What have I discovered about myself? What changes can I make? What will I do differently next time? 

Rejection

Rejection and failure and disappointment are a regular feature of ordinary life, no matter how successful someone may be. 

Any set of circumstances in which one reaches out for something: acceptance, approval, the good opinion of friends and family—the good opinion of anyone at all-- there is the risk and, indeed, the certainty of rejection from time to time.

Keep the odds in mind
Know ahead of time what the chances are of a particular effort for being successful. 

If the odds are long, that is not a reason for not trying; it is a reason not to be discouraged by failure.

For instance, sending in a resume in response to an advertised job has been studied. Approximately two percent receive a response. That is not an argument for giving up. It is a matter of the odds. Sending in a couple of hundred resumes shifts the odds in your favor. 

Keep more than one iron in the fire

Having a manuscript rejected by one publishing house is less devastating if that book is being considered at the same time somewhere else.

An unsuccessful job interview does not feel so bad if another one is scheduled for tomorrow.