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10 Lessons I Learned From Making Many Mistakes In My 20s - Darius Foroux

Stop Wasting Time On Losers

There’s a big chance the people in your environment don’t strive for the same things as you. Many people live a timid life. People who don’t want anything from life and who spend their time watching tv.

Don’t give your time to those people. You might become one of them.

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10 Lessons I Learned From Making Many Mistakes In My 20s - Darius Foroux

10 Lessons I Learned From Making Many Mistakes In My 20s - Darius Foroux

https://dariusforoux.com/learning-from-mistakes/

dariusforoux.com

10

Key Ideas

Don’t Think You Know Everything

Understand that life is not about impressing others with what you know. It’s about fulfillment, collaboration, and the common good.

If you want to achieve those things, you need to be humble.

Never Blame People For Your Unhappiness

As a child, you’re taken care of by others. Hence, you assume that someone is responsible for you.

When you grow up, you are responsible for you. So never look at others when you’re unhappy. Instead, accept your unhappiness, and then do something about it.

Stop Wasting Time On Losers

There’s a big chance the people in your environment don’t strive for the same things as you. Many people live a timid life. People who don’t want anything from life and who spend their time watching tv.

Don’t give your time to those people. You might become one of them.

Love Is Not What You Think

Most of us have this twisted idea about life. “I want her to treat me this and this way.” Who are you to claim such a thing? And if the other doesn’t live up to our expectations, we flip out or leave.


That’s called conditional love. Strive for the opposite. 

You Don’t Have A Lot Of Time

When you’re young, you think you have an endless sea of time. 

  • How much time am I wasting on things that give me zero fulfillment?
  • Do I like my job?
  • Do I like the people in my life?
The answers to these questions will give you clarity about how well you’re spending your time.

You’re Probably Not As Awesome As You Think

There’s always someone better looking, cooler, smarter, stronger, or you name it than you. Always.

That statement implies you’re comparing yourself to others. Just be yourself and don’t compare yourself to others.

Learning Never Stops

When you stop learning and developing yourself; you’re dead. 

Push yourself to learn something every day. If you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse.

Doing Hard Things Gives You More Pleasure

Doing hard things will have more return on your life, time, energy, and money.

When you do something that requires a lot of effort, you feel good about it. 

Being Alone Will Make You More At Peace

It’s a dangerous sign if you can never be alone. 

When you’re always with others, you’re just a product of the other people in your life. Sometimes you need to distance yourself from others. When you’re alone, you have time to know who you are.

Small Decisions Lead To Big Outcomes

Another drink wouldn’t hurt, right? Sleeping in today is not bad, right? I can easily spend $1500 on a new iPhone, right?

The answer is no, no, and NO to every other small decision you think has no impact on your life. The truth is that your life is the result of your small decisions.

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Learning from mistakes

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Lessons learned by making mistakes
  • You can't know everything. Be humble.
  • Never blame others for your unhappiness. Take responsibility.
  • Don't waste time on losers. You might become one of them.
  • Most of us have a twisted idea about love.
  • You actually don't have a lot of time.
  • Learning never stops. 
  • Sometimes you need to distance yourself from others and be alone.
  • Small decisions lead to big outcomes.
How well you’re spending your time

Ask yourself: 

  • How much time am I wasting on things that give me zero fulfillment? 
  • Do I like my job? 
  • Do I like the people in my life?
Focus

The right frame of mind, and thinking about positive things to happen goes a long way to improving your life. Focus on what you want.

Act on it

You can't just think good thoughts and assume your life will be better. 

We can't just think something. We need to act on it. 

Showing initiative

Be an originator of the action, of new ideas and be the first to start something new.

Set an example. No matter what it is, be the first one who does something.

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If you see something as a sacrifice, it will bring you frustration

When you think you have to sacrifice something in your life in order to be successful you will build frustration and resentment towards yourself. And so that lofty goal that should ha...

This idea of sacrificing things to become successful comes from comparisons

From comparing our lives to others. Why do you think you look at things as a sacrifice? Compared to what?Well, so and so is having an avocado salad at a rooftop bar in SoHo.” Who gives a shit. ⚠️

Extrapolating our thoughts

A few examples of how we extrapolate our exceptions all the time:

  • “House prices will probably keep increasing.”
  • “That person will never change.”
  • “My busi...
We’re fast thinkers

But that doesn’t mean we should follow through on every single thought that pops into our mind.

Every time you start thinking about future events or start making mental movies, keep count on a post-it note or a small piece of paper. Be aware of your thoughts. But don’t follow through.

Ryan Holiday
Ryan Holiday
“It takes skill and discipline to bat away the pests of bad perceptions, to separate reliable signals from deceptive ones, to filter out prejudice, expectation, and fear.”

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Common budgeting mistakes
  1. Not Tracking Expenses: it's impossible to stick to your budget if you don't know where your money is going.
  2. Buying on Impulse: Impulse buying is expensive.&nb...
Tracking expenses
One of the ugly truths about budgeting is that when you keep track of your expenses, it’s painfully clear when you’ve gone off track. 

Write it down when you’ve gone over your budget. The negativity you feel will help prevent you from overspending more or doing it again. Just think of this step as damage control.

Being frugal and miserable

If you try to deprive yourself too much, you’ll binge later and throw all your hard work out the window. 

A spending binge can set you back far more than treating yourself occasionally, so go for the occasional minor splurge. Just keep your treats within your spending limits and you’ll be fine.

“Focused” and “Diffused” Modes

When learning, there are times in which you are focused and times in which you allow your mind to wander. Both modes are valuable to allow your brain to learn something.

Take regular break...

Chunking
This is the idea of breaking what you want to learn into concepts. 

The goal is to learn each concept in a way that they each become like a well-known puzzle piece. 

In order to master a concept, you not only need to know it but also to know how it fits into the bigger picture.

Beware of Illusions of Competence
There are many ways in which we can make ourselves feel like we have “learned” a concept.

Instead of highlighting or underlining, rather take brief notes that summarize keys concepts.

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Decision-making errors

Most decision-making errors boil down to:

  • logical fallacies (over-generalizations, comparing apples and oranges, circular thinking)
  • limiting beliefs (underes...
Confirmation Bias

If you already have an opinion about something before you've even tried to figure it out, chances are you'll over-value information that confirms that opinion.

Think about what kinds of information you would expect to find to support alternative outcomes.

Attribution Bias

The “fundamental attribution error,” is when we excuse our own mistakes but blame other people for theirs.

Give other people the chance to explain themselves before judging their behavior.

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Making Your Budget Too Strict

Budget for the life you have. When you’re going through your budget and assigning spending categories, be realistic. 

Don’t tell yourself you’ll never buy a single discretionary i...

Budgeting for a Life You Can’t Afford

This becomes a problem when you’re spending for a life you can’t afford. It puts pressure on your budget and encourages you to live in a paycheck to paycheck cycle.

Assess your financial situation, cut back on your expenses, prioritize your money goals, and then come up with a new spending plan.

Budgeting Without a Purpose

It’s hard to stick to a budget that doesn’t have a goal.

When there isn’t one, your budget becomes an afterthought rather than a spending plan to reach your financial goals.

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