Don’t try to fix the difficult person - Deepstash

Bite‑sized knowledge

to upgrade

your career

Ideas from books, articles & podcasts.

Don’t try to fix the difficult person

Don’t try to fix the difficult person

Accept them exactly as they are. 

Accept that they are unable to change, at least at this point in time. Unless you see real change — proof that this person is making an effort to listen and meet you halfway — you can assume that their behavior is what it has always been.

34

STASHED IN:

707

MORE IDEAS FROM THE SAME ARTICLE

Never allow any personal interaction or relationship to infringe upon or challenge your own well-being. 

Visualize your boundaries, that protective territory between you and someone else.

Usually, arguments initially center around a specific topic/disagreement/response that made a person upset. If allowed to continue, the argument can become heated, accelerating quickly to personal attacks.

Make a concerted effort to imagine it unfolding before it actually does — and then...

Inevitably there will be topics that represent points of disagreement and disharmony. Know what these topics are, and be extremely aware when these are brought up. 

Be prepared to address these issues in a direct, non-confrontational way or to deflect the conflict if the atmosphere becom...

Let them fully state their point of view about the issue/conflict/problem without interruption. What do they feel people misunderstand about them? What do they want or expect from others? 

The idea is to remain as neutral as possible. Just listening may be enough to allow some...

Try to avoid getting into a fight-or-flight response, which inevitably leads to becoming defensive

  • Be direct and assertive when you express yourself. 
  • Stay focused on how you respond. 
  • Know when the discussion or argument has accelerated to the point of no re...

History and experiences should tell you that some subjects should be avoided at all costs. 

If your experience dealing with certain issues has left you stressed out or emotionally depleted, it's best to avoid the discussion until a time when both parties are willing to move it forwar...

Discover and save more ideas by creating a

FREE

Deepstash account.

Develop a

reading habit

, save

time

and create an amazing

knowledge library

.

GET THE APP:

MORE LIKE THIS

Develop Your Self-awareness

  • Learn to manage your own emotions. 
  • Practice noticing your feelings, thoughts, and behavior--your triggers. Document things as they come up.
When you get good at it, you'll start looking at the whole picture, and both sides of the issu...

17

STASHED IN:

342

  • The Downers (the Negative Nancys): almost impossible to please, they always have something bad to say. They complain, critique and judge. 
  • The Know It Alls: They like to show off and to impress. They use name-dropping and comparisons.
  • The Passives: They d...

36

STASHED IN:

887

  • You are having trouble getting through to your spouse; you talk about the same issue over and over again without coming to an agreement.
  • You seem unable to have a decent conversation without turning it into an argument.
  • You fear to bring up certain topics.
  • You do ...

69

STASHED IN:

1.02K