Listen to Learn, Not to Be Polite
Listen from a place of curiosity, not generosity. True dialogue does not happen when we pretend to listen, and it certainly cannot happen if we are not listening at all.
If you ever finish a conversation and learned nothing surprising, you weren’t truly listening.
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Really listen to what someone else is trying to say.
We need information that is disconfirming, not confirming.
Pay attention to your talk/listen ratio.
Strive for a 2:1 ratio of listening to talking.
Ask more questions than you give answers.
When you ask questions, you create a safe space for other people to give you an unvarnished truth.
Implement a process called active listening. Repeat back to the speaker what you heard.
If the speaker agrees that what you heard is what he or she intended to say, you can move on. If not, the speaker needs to reword their statement until the listener really does understand.
Actually wait until someone is done talking before you respond.
The most difficult component of listening effectively is waiting for a period at the end of a sentence before formulating a reply.
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This constant, low-grade sense of urgency can impede genuine communication.
Mindful listening - focused attention to what another person is saying, without judging or having an agenda - is a foundational skill that is rarely practised anywhere.
Mastering the art of considerate disagreement means expressing your beliefs without shutting down the discussion or angering the other side.
For this to happen, you have to listen more, be willing to change your perspective on disagreement and learn to better your arguments.
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