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Thea Newton
@theanewton
Finding friends
Friendships are always about common passions. Whatever you’re into, someone else is too. Let your passion guide you toward people. Volunteer, for example, take a new course or join a committee at your local religious center. If you like yoga, start going to classes regularly.
Once you meet a potential future friend, invite them to do something. You have to put yourself out there.
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Paxton E.
@paxtonwee50
How to make friends as an adult
Friendships are a treasure
Friends provide a comforting sense of stability and bonding. A defining feature of friendship is that it's voluntary - it's a relationship of great freedom that we hold on to only b...
Busyness and the risk of becoming friendless
The busyness of many people's adult lives can cause them to quickly lose contact with friends.
One study found that people had lost touch with about half of their closest friends over a period of seven years. What's more is that we are often losing friends faster than we can replace them. If we are not careful, we risk living out our adulthood without friends.
Deliberately making friends
Making more friends in adulthood will take some deliberate effort. One challenge may be to put yourself out there, as it can trigger fear of rejection.
You may engage in two types of avoidance to prevent you from making new friends.
- You may practise 'overt avoidance' by not putting yourself in a situation where it's possible to meet new people.
- You may engage in 'covert avoidance', which means you show up but don't engage with people once you are there.
Maxwell
@maxwellc12
How to Make Friends as an Adult
The Great Friendship Myth
We all have been told that we make all or most of our lifetime friends during the school or college years, which is bizarre as we barely know how to intentionally make friends in that age when thin...
Making Friends: The Small Leap
Most childhood friends are made accidentally. Adults can act maturely and find out certain acquaintances that they would want to be friends with. Once they identify a ‘friend’ candidate, they would need to do something called a ‘small leap’.
A small leap is a step where we ask an acquaintance to join us for a small activity, which may be a common interest. It could be a morning jog or just going to the market for some impulsive shopping. This small step is a tiny risk and carries an awkwardness(on both sides), so not many people are comfortable with it.
A Small Step For Us, A Giant Leap For Friendship
If we take small leaps on a regular basis, we can kick start a compounding effect where each new friend can push other acquaintances who are highly-qualified friend candidates, as they already have good references.
The small risk of asking to do something carries with it an aversion (due to the uncertainty) resulting in avoidance. If it is practised on a regular basis, no one will remain a stranger to us, and one can enrich their world with beautiful friendships.
Carlos B.
@carlos_tb483
How do you make friends as an adult? You asked Google - here's the answer | Kate Leaver
Be opportunistic
Learn to notice opportunities for potential friends.
We let many friendship opportunities pass us by because we feel awkward or too shy. Instead of small talk, invite them for coffe...
Make yourself vulnerable
We have to put our fears aside that someone might not like us or may have too many friends already.
If you like someone you meet, ask to swap numbers and follow through with an invitation to socialize.
Start by doing an activity together
Suggest an activity that you can do together. It will anchor your time together and give you something to focus on or talk about.
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