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How to Make Friends as an Adult - and Why It's Important
Finding friends
Friendships are always about common passions. Whatever you’re into, someone else is too. Let your passion guide you toward people. Volunteer, for example, take a new course or join a committee at your local religious center. If you like yoga, start going to classes regularly.
Once you meet a potential future friend, invite them to do something. You have to put yourself out there.
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Why you need friends
Friendship helps protect the brain and body from stress, anxiety and depression. Being around trusted others, in essence, signals safety and security,
Research suggests that you only need between four and five close pals. Close friends should be someone you can talk to, someone you can depend upon and someone you can enjoy.
It takes time
The process takes time, and you may experience false starts. Not everyone will want to put in the effort necessary to be a good friend.
Which is reason enough to nurture the friendships you already have–even those than span many miles. Start by scheduling a weekly phone call.
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Be opportunistic
Learn to notice opportunities for potential friends.
We let many friendship opportunities pass us by because we feel awkward or too shy. Instead of small talk, invite them for coffe...
Make yourself vulnerable
We have to put our fears aside that someone might not like us or may have too many friends already.
If you like someone you meet, ask to swap numbers and follow through with an invitation to socialize.
Start by doing an activity together
Suggest an activity that you can do together. It will anchor your time together and give you something to focus on or talk about.
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A Friend Indeed
According to a report in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, an acquaintance has a chance of being your friend after about 50 hours of shared activity or discussions. A frien...
Benefits of Friendships
Long-lasting, high-quality friendships lower the chance of chronic illnesses, and mortality rates. They boost one’s happiness and can also be a buffer towards anxiety, stress and even depression.
One can consider looking back and reconnect with a lost but cherished friend for emotional support or to relive the long-forgotten times.
Considering Reviving A Friendship
- We need to ask ourselves if a certain friendship is even worth resuscitating, or if one of us has moved on to such an extent that we really don’t recognize the person any more.
- The circumstances of growing apart also matter. If it was betrayal or a falling out, the process of getting back may require reconciliation and may not be easy.
- People evolve due to the various life events that happen in the course of their lives, like medical issues, marriage, children or a divorce. It’s important to keep one’s guard up, as the person that one gets to meet after years might be a complete stranger in some ways.
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The importance of friends
Having a weak circle of friends carries the same risk as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Researchers suggest that the core factors in a happy life are the number of friends, the closeness of f...
Reconnect with old friends
You have probably met a large number of friends through just a handful of people. Those are your superconnectors. Rekindle those friendships and ask them if there is anyone you should meet.
Connecting to people
Don’t be interesting. Be interested.
- Listen to people and ask them to tell you more.
- When they mention something you have in common, point it out.
- Be enthusiastic and encouraging.
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