They tell you what they WANT you to do. - Deepstash
They tell you what they WANT you to do.

They tell you what they WANT you to do.

Even people with the best intentions are influenced by their own desires. They want you to be happy and successful, but in a way that fits their own definition of those terms.

And that definition may not match your own.

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MORE IDEAS FROM Stop Listening To People

They’re not you.

Ultimately, it comes down to this. You are the expert on you.

Nobody can know what’s best for you better than you can so trust your instincts, stop listening to other people, and own your own decisions.

You’ll be glad you did.

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They DON’T want you to change.

Other people may love you so much the way you are that they fear certain decisions you make will change you and that those changes could impact your relationship with them.

But it’s usually in your best interest to change, to evolve into more of the person you want to become and the life you want to have.

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They want you to change.

Just because somebody loves you, it doesn’t mean they love ALL of you.

They may want to change something about you and that bias colors the advice they give you. But the thing they want to change about you may be a thing you love about yourself.

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They’re jealous of you.

Not always. Not often. But sometimes.

It’s not pretty, but jealousy exists and it clouds the advice you get from certain people about certain situations.

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They tell you what they WOULD do.

When people offer you advice, they base it on what they would do if faced with a similar dilemma.

But what they would do is based on who they are, not who you are. Their intentions may be pure, but the reasoning is often mismatched.

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People Will Say.....

Everybody’s got something to say about what you do.

People you know, people you love, people you hate. Even people you’ve never met in posts like this one.

They tell you what to do, what to think, what you do right or wrong. How to be better, live your life, and further your career.

But none of the people who tell you what to do know what’s best for you and you should stop listening to them.

This is why.........

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They don’t know you as well as they think they know you

No matter how comfortable you are with yourself and how long you’ve known a person, they don’t know the real you. They know the version you choose to share with them which might be 80% of yourself, but it’s never 100%.

The advice they give you can only be as successful as the amount they know about you — the real you.

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RELATED IDEA

Advise with permission

If you feel the need to offer unsolicited advice, ask them, “Do you want some ideas to improve the situation?” 

This way they have the option to say no, and they’ll likely give you more attention when they’ve agreed to take your help.

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Speaking to people you trust is one of the best ways to get through whatever it is you’re experiencing – in this case, a sense of being a loser.

It’s very important to remember that when you’re feeling this low – you are not alone and you do matter.

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Manipulation by passive and covert aggression
  • Passive-aggression is an indirect way to go on the offensive. An example is when someone tries to "get you back" by resisting cooperation and giving you the "silent treatment."
  • Covert-aggression is calculated and underhanded to get what they want while keeping their aggressive intentions hidden. Covert aggressive people want to do bad while looking perfectly good.

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