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How to Deal With A Narcissist: 10 Tips Plus When to Move On
Narcissists may need professional help
People with a narcissistic personality disorder often don’t see a problem — at least not with themselves. As a result, it’s unlikely they’ll ever seek professional counseling.
You can suggest that they reach out for professional help, but you can’t make them do it. It’s absolutely their responsibility, not yours.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
10
Key Ideas
Loves to Talk About Oneself
A pathological narcissist loves to talk about himself, often in exaggerated and grandiose terms.
Common conversational topics for narcissists include accomplishments and achievem...
Charming with a Catch
Many narcissists can come across as alluring and attractive, especially during the initial stages of a relationship.
While there’s nothing wrong inherently with being charming and romantic, the narcissist crafts these traits in order to use others. He or she is not really interested in you, but only in what he wants to extract from you.
Lack of Reliability and Follow Through
Many narcissists lack reliability and follow through. This can range from regularly breaking appointments, to habitually falling through on promises and agreements.
When you observe a pattern of inconsistency between what your partner says, versus what she or he actually does, you may be dealing with a narcissist.
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Key Ideas
People That Cause Grief
We all know a few people that cause grief, not merely because they have a bad day but because they have severe problems and are unwilling to change.
We can learn enough to recogniz...
High-conflict people (HCP)
- Narcissistic HCPs: They may seem charming at first but think themselves to be superior. They insult, humiliate, mislead, and lack empathy while demanding respect and attention.
- Borderline HCPs: They start out friendly but can suddenly change into being extremely angry. During this rage, they may seek revenge for minor insults.
- Antisocial (or Sociopathic/Psychopathic) HCPs There extreme charm is a cover for their drive to dominate others through lying, stealing, publicly humiliating people, physically injuring them, and sometimes murdering them.
While these are disorders and these people are suffering, mental health professionals would advise you to keep your distance from them, if at all possible.
Behavior Patterns Of HCP
Everybody has bad days or weeks. To tell if someone is a High Conflict Person, we can look for four traits of behavior.
- Lots of all-or-nothing thinking: When problems arise, it is their solution or no solution. They don't compromise or listen to different points of view.
- Intense or unmanaged emotions: HCPs become very emotional about their points of view. Their responses are out of proportion to whatever is happening.
- Extreme behavior or threats: They engage in extreme negative behavior that includes physical harm, spreading lies about someone else, emotional manipulation, or obsessive contact.
- A preoccupation with blaming others: They frequently blame other people close to them or people in authority over them.
Nobody is perfect, but if someone has all four traits, they almost certainly are an HCP.
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Key Ideas
Recognize the signs
- You're tired all the time.
- Cooperating with colleagues takes an enormous effort.
- You keep your office door shut and interact with your computer.
- ...
Take a mental health break
It's hard when you can't function as well as you're used to, but slogging on doesn't work when you're in a downward spiral.
When you're at a crossroads in terms of your mental health, you need to really say, 'OK, I'm going to ask for five days off. That might mean the difference between me not having a mental health breakdown, or needing to take additional time off.
Find treatment
"To stay with it and maintain an independent and productive life -- it's important to identify it, get the appropriate treatment and then stick with that treatment."