7 Habits of a Toxic Relationship (That People Think Are Healthy)
Ignoring problems in a relationship in order to avoid conflict will only mean that the problems pile up until they can no longer be ignored – and by then, it might be too hard to fix.
This is a professional note extracted from an online article.
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Arguments and disagreements in relationships are normal, but screaming matches and every day fighting isn’t.
People who seek out conflict in their relationship for the intense reconciliation are often addicted to the dopamine that they get after the fight is over – which isn’t healthy for either person.
Keeping track of the things that you do, versus the things that they do is a way to create pressure and conflict where there should only be teamwork.
Sit down together and work out a plan on things like chores or bills, and who does or pays what.
If your partner comes to you with something that you did that upset them, listening to what they have to say and talking through it is more important than defending yourself – or trying to come up with something worse than they did.
Having two people with two sets of values, opinions and thoughts means that disagreements are bound to happen.
When you have two people who never fight, it means that you have two people who aren’t being entirely honest with one another.
When we think that we need someone else, especially a romantic partner, to complete us and make us whole, it shows an unhealthy degree of dependency on another person.
Being jealous is actually a toxic behavior. We can’t control our feelings, and sometimes we get jealous over things. But it’s important not to express that jealousy in a way that can hurt our partners, or in a way that’s toxic and upsetting.
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It shows that you two are not comfortable communicating openly and clearly with one another.
State your feelings and desires openly. And make it clear that the other person is not ne...
For example, if someone feels like you’ve been cold to them, instead of saying, “I feel like you’re being cold sometimes,” they will say, “I can’t date someone who is cold to me."
It’s crucial for both people in a relationship to know that negative thoughts and feelings can be communicated safely to one another without it threatening the relationship itself.
... for your own emotions. This is a subtle form of selfishness and a classic example of the poor maintenance of personal boundaries. Take responsibility for your own emotions and expect your partner to be responsible for theirs.
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The idea that couples must communicate and resolve all of their problems is a myth. The truth is, trying to resolve a conflict can sometimes create more problems than it fixes.
The last person you should ever have to censor yourself with is the person you love.
It’s important to make something more important in your relationship than merely making each other feel good all of the time. The feel-good stuff happens when you get the other stuff right.
Romantic sacrifice is idealized in our culture.
Sometimes the only thing that can make a relationship successful is ending it at the appropriate time, before it becomes too damaging. And the willingness to do that allows us to establish the necessary boundaries to help ourselves and our partner grow together.
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Is any relationship between people who don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there is competition and there is disrespect....
People who consistently undermine or cause harm to a partner (whether intentionally or not) often have a reason for their behavior, even if it’s subconscious.
Maybe they were in a toxic relationship, either romantically or as a child. Maybe they didn’t have the most supportive, loving upbringing. They could have been bullied in school. They could be suffering from an undiagnosed mental health disorder.
The most serious warning signs include any form of violence, abuse or harassment, which should be dealt with immediately. But in many cases, the indicators of a toxic relationship are much more subtle: Persistent unhappiness, negative shifts in your mental health, personality or self-esteem, feeling like you can’t talk with or voice concerns to your significant other.
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