Keeping the peace

Keeping the peace

Ignoring problems in a relationship in order to avoid conflict will only mean that the problems pile up until they can no longer be ignored – and by then, it might be too hard to fix.

@adalinew11

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Communication

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Conflict mistaken for passion

Arguments and disagreements in relationships are normal, but screaming matches and every day fighting isn’t.

People who seek out conflict in their relationship for the intense reconciliation are often addicted to the dopamine that they get after the fight is over – which isn’t healthy for either person.

Conflict mistaken for passion

Arguments and disagreements in relationships are normal, but screaming matches and every day fighting isn’t.

People who seek out conflict in their relationship for the intense reconciliation are often addicted to the dopamine that they get after the fight is over – which isn’t healthy for either person.

Keeping the peace

Ignoring problems in a relationship in order to avoid conflict will only mean that the problems pile up until they can no longer be ignored – and by then, it might be too hard to fix.

Keeping score

Keeping track of the things that you do, versus the things that they do is a way to create pressure and conflict where there should only be teamwork. 

Sit down together and work out a plan on things like chores or bills, and who does or pays what.

If your partner comes to you with something that you did that upset them, listening to what they have to say and talking through it is more important than defending yourself – or trying to come up with something worse than they did.

Never fighting

Having two people with two sets of values, opinions and thoughts means that disagreements are bound to happen.

When you have two people who never fight, it means that you have two people who aren’t being entirely honest with one another.

When we think that we need someone else, especially a romantic partner, to complete us and make us whole, it shows an unhealthy degree of dependency on another person.

Jealousy

Being jealous is actually a toxic behavior. We can’t control our feelings, and sometimes we get jealous over things. But it’s important not to express that jealousy in a way that can hurt our partners, or in a way that’s toxic and upsetting.

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RELATED IDEAS

Displays Of "Loving" Jealousy

Some people describe jealousy as some sort of display of affection, figuring, incorrectly, that if their partner isn’t jealous then that somehow means they don’t love them enough. Rather than being loving, jealousy is actually just controlling and manipulative.

Completely trust your partner! Some jealousy is natural, but excessive jealousy and controlling behaviors are signs of your own feelings of unworthiness, and you should learn to deal with them and not force them onto those close to you.

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IDEAS

It shows that you two are not comfortable communicating openly and clearly with one another. 

State your feelings and desires openly. And make it clear that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love to have their support.

Being willing to end it

Romantic sacrifice is idealized in our culture. 

Sometimes the only thing that can make a relationship successful is ending it at the appropriate time, before it becomes too damaging. And the willingness to do that allows us to establish the necessary boundaries to help ourselves and our partner grow together.

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