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7 Mindful Ways to Handle Complicated People at Work
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
Winston Churchill
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Understand the situation
Complaining about a difficult work situation will not make it go away. Try to understand the situation, and find a way to understand and accept your colleagues.
People’s characters are a reflection of their own mental limitations; when people try to hinder us, it is usually a sign their mind is obstructed by their own negativity.
Learn how to accept criticism
Sometimes it can help us identify weaknesses we didn’t know we had.
Analyze it and take what is helpful from it. If you find it is meaningless bitterness, disregard it immediately.
Winston Churchill
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
Avoid negative colleagues
Minimize conversations with them. Only speak when it is necessary for work, or when you have something constructive to share.
A negative person will always find a reason to express negativity.
Keep your cool in heated situations
Don’t let anger overcome you. Nothing constructive results from anger. Anger only obstructs judgement and mental clarity.
If you train yourself to remain calm in stressful situations, you will grow strong and resilient.
Never accept abuse from anyone
Tolerating hurtful treatment weakens your self-esteem and self-confidence.
Letting others insult you and not doing anything about it sends your subconscious mind a message that you deserve what is happening to you.
Speak to a higher authority
... if all else fails.
Sometimes people get very competitive and there is no way to resolve situations without the intervention of a higher authority.
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Mindfulness at work
Means being consciously present in what you’re doing, while you’re doing it, as well as managing your mental and emotional state.
If you’re writing a report, mindfulness requires...
1 min/session
That’s the minimum required for a mini-mediation.
Just focus on your sense. You don’t need to close your eyes. You don’t even need to be sitting down.
Use Mindful Reminders
You can use interruptions as hooks to make you more mindful.
Every time your phone rings, take a mindful breath. Every time you hear the ping of a text message, pause to be mindful of your surroundings rather than immediately reacting by checking the message.
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Key Ideas
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Therapy Techniques
- Some therapists are just there to listen and provide a backdrop.
- Even the silence that they exhibit seems to kindle the patients into divulging more of their most uncomfortable truths.
- Others keep the sequence of assignments and tests lined up, never pausing.
- Therapists play varied roles to get some valuable information out of the patient and make him better.
Therapy That Works
No particular form of therapy is proven to be better or more effective than others.
Different people prefer or respond to different forms of therapy.
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Key Ideas
Anger and Aggression
- Anger: An emotion felt when we believe we have been wronged.
- Aggression: is an act of expression of the anger, by our words our actions. Aggression can be insults, sarcas...
Validation and Boundaries
- We can try and validate the anger felt by an individual by making them know that their anger is maybe justified while putting firm but respectful boundaries on their aggression.
- We then need to be clear about what type of aggression we are willing to tolerate, setting boundaries on the unacceptable.
- We may have to put our foot down and be ready to leave the conversation or escalate the issue, without falling into the trap of guilt and emotion.
- If possible, we need to restart the conversation when things have cooled down, and diffuse the issue in a calm way.
Avoiding Speculative Self-Talk
Unchecked self-talk can easily turn into self-delusion. The stories we create almost always make you look like the good guy and cannot be termed as objective.
- The way to get out of this speculative self-delusion is to avoid any speculation about other people's anger, at least initially.
- Make sure to note down the facts of the situation. This can make the story less according to your gut instinct, and more towards the objective reality.
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