Competent leaders appreciate the importance of emotion regulation and rather than simply get upset or angry with employees they might convey their impatience or frustration. Those are legitimate reactions, but they’re often less effective than disappointment.

The frustrated or impatient leader won’t necessarily cause employees to bolt for the exits, but they’ll find it harder to build the close relationships that help teams weather bad times, and their employees’ loyalty will be contingent on continued success.

The key for the unhappy leader is to convey their feelings of discontent in ways that will evoke an emotional reaction in their employees, capturing their attention and heightening “the immediate pressures of reality.” 

But it’s essential to evoke the right response–not jus...