While it is normal to wonder, “What did I do wrong?” giving in to negative thoughts can sabotage our efforts at mending our broken hearts.
If two different people, other than our close family, make the same point post-relationship but we still have a difficult time accepting it, we need to consider that they are most likely telling the truth.
MORE IDEAS FROM The foolproof way to fix a broken heart, according to a psychologist
Being in love is like being hooked on a drug - and breaking up is similar to addiction withdrawal.
Understanding why the break up happened is necessary before we can move on from a breakup. It allows us to stamp out any hopes for reconciliation and move forward with our lives.
The emotional pain of a breakup often results in your body pumping itself full of cortisol, which suppresses the immune system and affects coping mechanisms.
The first step in fixing the problem is understanding that it is normal, according. So if the littlest things are making you cry, take a moment to recognize that it is most likely caused by your body's response to the breakup.
When we are stalking our exes on social media, we will find something we don’t want to see. But the subsequent feel of your heart dropping and the jealousy aren’t conducive to getting over your heartbreak.
Burn all cyber-bridges - limiting your access to your ex will automatically make you feel better.
The variable that has been found to predict healthier and quicker adjustment to heartbreak is finding a new partner.
It may feel wrong, but going on dates with a new person can boost our fragile self-esteem and remind us that there are other fish in the sea.
In order to move on, we need to reconnect to who we were before the relationship.
Do not let your heartbreak define you. Remember the things you love, and do them. And if they were activities you loved to do together, continue to do them anyway.
... where memories of happier times still linger may sound appealing, but it can only make the heartbreak worse in the long run.
Rather, we need to “cleanse” our associations with these places by reclaiming them - make new memories, take other friends, or celebrate an occasion.
Looking back on a relationship in hindsight, it is easy for our minds to trick us into remembering the relationship as much better than it really was.
Force yourself to remember the flaws in the relationship too.
Breaking up can trigger chemical, emotional and physical reactions that cause you to feel lonely, unloveable, depressed, and worthless.
Instead of pushing yourself to move forward quickly, take time to acknowledge how you are feeling. Your thoughts might be distorted, but your feelings are real. Take the time you need to explore them.
When humans fall in love, their bodies are actively producing feel-good hormones and preventing the release of negative hormones.
When this process suddenly stops, the "withdrawal" felt can be extremely difficult to process both on an emotional and physiological level.
Breakups and subsequent renewals are quite common across all types of romantic relationships and even marriages.
Falling apart and then seeking to mend the old relationship seems to be deeply rooted in our psychology.
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