How to Push Yourself One Step Beyond Usual Limits

• Prepare your nudge: Think of one on-topic question you want to see answered during the meeting and write it down. Even if you get "cold-called", you have at least one thoughtful question.
• Rehearse your introduction: Don't say: "Hi, I'm Haruto, ...

Ask a question. Then listen to the answer. Repeat the process.

You can do this for an article, book or email. Ask, "What are your thoughts?" Then notice what people are really saying. Ignore the extreme stuff. Listen to the ones who leave balanced responses.

If it is essential that if you have to disagree with a chronic complainer, you can ask this simple question: "Do you want my opinion?"

The complainer then has to give you permission to share a different perspective, but don't try to convince them. Say "I hear what you'...