Blaming, oversimplifying, and seeing oneself as a victim are all common traits of unhappy couples and failed marriages.
Conflicts should be approached by looking together at the problem.
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To make a marriage work, you have to be the right person.
Rather than looking for the right partner, become aware of your blind spots, growing edges and vulnerabilities. Take responsibility and learn how to work with them effectively. Then invite in a compatible, suitable partner.
Most of us don’t have adequate communication skills going into marriage. It is important to build this skill.
Even the best communication skills won’t help a couple that sees the world completely different.
The more aligned you are on certain crucial dimensions—such as day-to-day compatibility, or whether you are on the same wavelength about larger issues—the better off you’ll be as a couple.
If your partner comes to you with something that you did that upset them, listening to what they have to say and talking through it is more important than defending yourself – or trying to come up with something worse than they did.
People have started to approach their personal lives like a business.Marriage spreadsheets can collect and analyze data on everything that might affect the quality of life - for instance, household chores, alone time or hours slept.
Applications can act as a manager for children's time, or organize to-do lists and goals.
For behavior to mean something about commitment, it must be behavior that the person has control over performing. If one's options are limited by the context their intentions cannot be read.
In the context of dating and mating, option constraints on you or your partner, limits the information contained in the choices you make. That means that some may routinely misinterpret the behavior of their partners as a signal of commitment when it isn’t.