Good Friendships are priceless 🤗
Jul 22, 2020
The idea of tough compassion has been gaining traction because the pastel-colored version of it is proving to be unhelpful at the moment.
The idea has been described by psychologist Dacher Keltner who said that it is in line with the Buddhist tradition of stepping in to guide the person onto a different form of behavior.
The goal of true compassion is to find ways to promote the least suffering for everyone, and so, there must be the willingness to bear but also the capability to inflict some discomfort in the moment to promote longer-term well-being.
The silent treatment works depending on your goal.
If you're trying to show that you're upset and aren't really pushing for a meaningful change in the relationship, then yes. It will get the other person's attention but it more often creates more frustration than fix underlying problems.
When the silent treatment becomes a pattern it becomes detrimental to the mental health of both parties involved.
Silent treatment comes in many forms: social isolation, stonewalling, ghosting. Research suggests two in three individuals have used the silent treatment against someone else.
A father stopped talking to his teenage son and couldn't start again, changing his son from a happy boy to a spineless jellyfish. A wife whose husband stopped communicating after a minor disagreement eventually ended when her husband died 40 years later.
It shows that you two are not comfortable communicating openly and clearly with one another.
State your feelings and desires openly. And make it clear that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love to have their support.
Estranged relationships are common in families, with feuds being especially brutal among siblings. There have been stories throughout history, from Cleopatra to Genghis Khan, of the unheard of ruthlessness by which family members with whom there is a clash have been disposed of.
Various modern studies show a sizable percentage of families are fractured, with estranged family members and disputes going on for at least four years. An estimate shows that as much as 20 percent of American adults are in a state of ‘estrangement’ among their family members.
We all have been told that we make all or most of our lifetime friends during the school or college years, which is bizarre as we barely know how to intentionally make friends in that age when things just happen haphazardly and suddenly two people start being friends.
Real friends can be made in our adulthood if we choose to. We should realize that having a good friend is probably the best thing in the world. A lifetime friend can make us happier, smarter and kinder. Friendships make good times better, and bad times not that bad.
An optimist sees a glass half full of water. A negative person sees the glass as half empty. The chronic complainer sees water that isn't cold enough, sees the smudge on the rim, which means the glass wasn't cleaned properly and wonder if they will end up with some kind of virus.
Chronic complainers may not have a negative outlook on life but they want everyone to know that nothing is ever good enough. In their mind, the world is what's negative, and they are only aware of one way to respond to it. They don't know how to express themselves in a positive light.
The German word for empathy is "Einfühlung" and was coined in the late 1800s. It means "feeling into."
Empathy is about understanding other people's feelings. Some think empathy means the ability to read fellow human beings or simply feeling connected to people. Others see it as a moral stance about showing concern for others.
When people were forced into social isolation, a light was also shining on another crisis - loneliness.
The antidote to loneliness is accessible to all of us: friendship. The shared global crisis has showed how significant friends are to our day-to-day happiness.
❤️ Brainstash Inc.