The desire to feel in control of our limited time causes numerous problems in relationships, resulting not only in controlling behaviour, but also commitment-phobia, the inability to listen, boredom, and missing out on the richness of communal experiences with others.
When faced with a challenging or boring moment in a relationship, try being curious about the person you’re with, rather than controlling. Curiosity is a stance well-suited to the inherent unpredictability of life with others, because it can be satisfied by their behaving in ways you like or dislike.
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