Why punishment doesn’t work
- It backfires. Punishment is almost always delivered with anger.
- It is temporary. Punishment teaches children to respond out of fear rather than out of a desire to please or do the right thing.
- It reinforces the child’s negative view of self. It creates an expectation by the child and others of additional bad behavior.
- It provokes revenge, makes the child feel angry and resentful.
- It maintains emotional distance. Punishment feeds into their defenses against being close and reinforces a “me against you” mentality.
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Parents are often unclear about the difference between consequences and punishment and the end result.
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