Adjusting your identity

... to prevent self-control failures. Research has shown that people who have developed a self-image around virtuous activities are more likely to identify and resolve self-control conflicts.

For these people, indulging incurs a cost to their self-image – it contradicts the beliefs they have about themselves.

@joshuamar

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Self Improvement

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Self-control

It’s your ability to resolve conflicts between your short-term desires and your long-term goals.

For example, successful self-control means sacrificing immediate pleasure (cookies and cakes) and choosing the delayed reward (healthy weight).

People who have high self-control aren’t missing out on enjoyment. Not being able to resist temptation and enjoying life are not the same things.

They tend to eat in a healthily way, exercise more, sleep better, drink less alcohol, smoke fewer cigarettes, achieve higher grades at university, have more peaceful relationships, and are more financially secure.

Research showed that self-control is ultimately limited by our biology. We can’t exercise effortful self-control indefinitely – the brain has to do regular maintenance to remain functional.

People that are great at self-control don't have to make more effort. Instead, they avoid effortful strategies and use easier ones.

In this way, they don’t tax and overwork their brains, and thus they are free to invest their effort into pursuing their goals, instead of fighting with themselves

  • Thought suppression: when you consciously attempt not to think about something. It can have some benefits in the short term, but it takes a lot more effort than other strategies and it will make your desire even stronger in the long-run.
  • Resisting temptations: it when you’re actively inhibiting your urge to act on them. Because it’s one of the most effortful strategies, it’s likely to fail when applied over a longer period of time.

Use a ‘commitment contract’. This is a way to impose costs on self-control failure.

For example, you sign a contract with a friend or a company and place a financial deposit. You only get your deposit back if you meet certain criteria after an agreed-on period of time. For instance, you need to cut down your smoking to a few cigarettes a day. If you don’t satisfy the criteria, then you lose your deposit.

Many studies have shown that mindfulness is an effective way for boosting our self-control.

Mindfulness doesn’t suppress or resist your thoughts and emotions. It just changes your perspective on them. You don’t judge your inner experiences (don’t evaluate whether your desires are good or bad).

Distractions cause cognitive load: they fill up your working memory. As a result, there’s less space for your long-term goals.

A distraction can be anything such as chatting with friends, listening to the radio or watching television.

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RELATED IDEAS

Self-control isn’t a special moral muscle

It’s like any decision. And to improve the decision, we need to improve the environment and give people the skills needed to avoid temptations in the first place.

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IDEAS

Instead of trying to apply willpower when all the stages (situational, attentional, appraisal and response) have already taken place, one can strategize at the start of the stage and ensure that those do not happen at all.

For instance, the situational stage where we are faced with the temptation right in front of us could itself be avoided if we actively pursue not being in that situation. Example: Not buying the box of cookies, not placing it at home, and not going to the supermarket where one can easily find and buy it.

A lack of willpower is not the only factor that affects goal attainment.

  • There needs to be a clear goal and the motivation to change. Having an unclear or overly general goal and insufficient motivation can lead to failure.
  • You need to monitor your actions daily towards the achievement of the goal.
  • You need to have willpower.

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