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Imposter syndrome normally occurs when there is a tension between two views: the standards you set yourself and how you assess yourself as doing.
The high standards you set yourself are a large part of the problem, as is the negative internal voice you use to motivate yourself. You expect that you need to be the best and do everything flawlessly in your career, relationships, and personal life.
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Having compassion for yourself is really no different from having it for others. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes and it’s OK to feel stressed or sad. Pain and suffering are part of our shared human experience; they are just a reaction to what’s going on in our life.
A few examples:
Imposters fear being found out or not being good enough so strongly that they do not question their fear. If what you believe is true, then you’re right to be scared: being found out, failing, the humiliation that comes with what you imagine – these are terrifying.
You decided a long time ago that you were a fraud and for years you’ve been building an argument in support of this in your head, ignoring any information that doesn’t fit and operating a strong bias against yourself. This unwavering belief is one of the biggest reasons you’re un...
Family environment, family dynamics, and the way our parents raised us combine with our personality and our experience of the world to shape our belief system and give us a sense of who we are as a person. This means that what you learned as a child influences how you see and experience t...
When you see yourself as completely responsible for making everything go well, you take responsibility for anything that goes wrong.
Don't forget about the other people involved and their shared responsibility. And no matter how hard you try, there’s no route through li...
You may feel like an imposter, but that doesn’t mean you are one. Your thoughts and feelings are useful, but they only form part of the picture, especially when it comes to anything imposter syndrome-related.
When you hear the voice, remind yourself that the imposter's ...
To really believe that how you feel is no different from the way other people feel you have to start talking more openly about what’s going on.
This is the only way for you to be sure that when others look confident and capable they may not feel that way all the time.
Confident people do feel this discomfort and do experience some of the same fears. But they come to a different conclusion and this allows them to override their feelings.
Instead of interpreting their discomfort as meaning that they are imposters, they see it as a ...
You need to see that this is not your voice, but the voice of your fears.
The better you get at spotting the imposter voice in action, the more successfully the strategies will work
These are the internal rules that people with imposter syndrome generally follow:
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