It takes practice to be socially confident. Unfortunately, some of us feel we lack the knowledge to have conversations or feel unworthy. We compare ourselves to others, thinking they are somehow better, smarter, more confident. However, we need to challenge the cognitive distortions when we notice them.

Why we lack social confidence

Act like the person you admire or want to become. Just like actors and performers, they take on a different persona. They have stage names, dress a certain way in that role and show only certain aspects of themselves. We can do that until it becomes more ingrained.

Play a role

Ensure that you spend time with positive and supportive people. Ask yourself how you feel when you leave someone's company. That can be a helpful clue as to who you may want to spend your time with. To find people that share more of your own values or interests, join a club, attend workshops or look on meetup.com.

Social impact

To compare is to despair. When you decide to give up on yourself because others can do it better or have more talent, it is an excuse not to participate. Instead, when you look at people you admire, ask what they might be doing to improve themselves. Successful people often have good habits such as discipline, effort, consistency, and a willingness to take action.

Stop idealising others

The concept of social facilitation is that we generally improve our performance and skill base when we are in the presence of others. As a result, we try harder and focus better. For example, working out in a gym makes us work out harder than exercising at home. The international organisation, the Toastmasters, works on this theory. They help people learn confidence in public speaking and leadership. Use the idea of social facilitation when you want to improve a skill.

Social facilitation

It takes practice to be confident socially. Some of us feel like we don’t know enough to have conversations with others, or we feel unworthy compared to others. This increases our anxiety. Often, we…

Play a role

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