How To Stop Judging

  1. Become more aware during the day, noticing more things around you.
  2. Every time a judgement or expectation is made, just note down the moment and repeat this: No expectations, no good or bad.
  3. Be curious as to why people behave or act in a certain way, removing your coloured glasses behind.
  4. Take whatever comes in your life and experience it. You can only control your responses.
  5. Accept circumstances and people as they are.
  6. Understand that the present moment is a gift, containing infinite possibilities.
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Self Improvement

zenhabits.net

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We need to stop judging and expecting because it stops our factual understanding. We have already come to a conclusion, our preferred way of something to be, and reality is bound to be different.

Expecting and judging will make us unhappy as reality is never what we expect it to be. We need to stop killing our happiness and start to live our lives instead.

  • We feel angry, frustrated or sad with our friends, loved ones and family members because they don’t live up to our expectations.
  • If we don’t have any expectations in the first place, we would not judge them accordingly, and their actions or non-actions will not cause emotional reactions inside us.
  • If we travel somewhere with great expectations, we are bound to be disappointed. If we just go somewhere without any expectations, we may be delighted and would enjoy whatever experience comes forth.

A mindset hack is to expect nothing, and don’t think of anything that is happening as good or bad. Accept things as they happen, as if that is what was planned, letting you move in the particular landscape in a mindful way.

This simple hack makes us less unhappy and less disappointed all the time.

Eckhart Tolle

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it."

Imagine a good thing that happened to you recently and a bad thing. Just imagine those recent incidents as just events, not good or bad in any way. When we stop judging, we are not burdened with emotions, and not chained to the world. Nothing is really good or bad, but in reality, is just our interpretation and perception.

Even big events are events that just happened. Festivals and wars keep happening. Death is always happening everywhere, let it be.

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We need to respond to emails and messages, read the news and catch up on things. But these activities don't have to fill our entire lives.

Create a container for each of these activities: set aside 30 minutes for responding to all your emails, another 30 minutes for messages (maybe 2-3 times a day), and so on.

It takes practice to get good at anything

Feedback is essential when you learn a new skill. However, when people learn the skill of 'creating new habits,' they think making mistakes is a sign of being a failure and showing an utter lack of discipline.

In reality, this is not true. No one mastered anything on their first few attempts — it takes practice to get good at anything.

Don't Expect, Accept

Expecting more from the self can help us change the course of our life. Wanting to be in better shape, or learning a new skill is the first step towards self- motivation and eventually action.

Any shortcomings or obstacles (like missing a day of action) make us see expectations in a different light, something that chains us and moves us away from the simplicity of self-discipline.

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