Often our default behaviour when approaching people is trying to demonstrate our own power and control.
How people judge each other in first encounters.
When we meet someone new we quickly answer two questions:
Approach others with kindness instead of toughness.
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Self-assured enthusiasm is a strong indicator of success. This quality predicts:
Presence is the state of being able to comfortably express our thoughts. It’s not a permanent mode of being – it comes and goes, moment to moment.
When we feel present, our speech, facial expressions and movements align. It’s what makes us compelling. We are no longer fighting ourselves, we...
By finding, believing, expressing and then engaging our authentic best selves, especially if we do it right before our biggest challenges, we reduce our anxiety about social rejections and increase our openness to others, and that allows us to be fully present.
Self-affirmation is the practice of clarifying your story to yourself, allowing you to trust that who you are will come through naturally in what you say and do.
It is about reminding ourselves what matters most to us.
Examine a list of common core values:
We usually think a person we have just meant is either more warm than competent, or more competent than warm, but not both in equal measure.
We classify new acquaintances into types.
Presence emerges when we feel personally powerful.
Presence manifests itself in two ways:
Several scientific experiments lead them to believe that smiling does impact emotions and make a person happier. Our body, breath and movement play a huge role in how we feel.
Train yourself through breathing. Inhale quickly and exhale slowly.
Our bodies can influence our brains and behaviour.
Presence stems from believing in and trusting yourself. Your presence is your real honest, feelings, values and abilities.
If you don’t trust yourself, how can others trust you?
Alignment: emotions, thoughts, physical and facial expressions, and behaviours must be in harmony.
If our actions are not consistent with our values, we won’t feel true to ourselves.
There is strong cross-cultural support for the universality of these nine em...
When you listen to someone it is the most profound act of human respect.
Real listening can’t happen unless we have a sincere desire to understand what we are hearing.
To listen we need to overcome our fear of silence and space.
When to stop talking and listen, here is what happ...
Powerful people think and act in a way that leads to retention and acquisition of power.
Power can often activate at a non-conscious level.
Briefly saying words that connote power like control, command and authority and make you feel present and powerful.
We convince by our presence.
Four common narrative themes in elderly people who recall their life stories:
Agency: people felt they were in control of their lives
Communion: people describe their lives as being about relationships
Redemption: people felt th...
Social Power is characterized by:
Personal power is about having the confidence to act based on one's own beliefs, attitudes and values, and having to sense that one's actions will be effective.
Power expands our body language. Likewise, our body language can influence and expand our feelings of personal power.
Our voices communicate power.
Powerful people make more eye contact while they are speaking.
When we feel powerful we speak more slowly and take more time, we do...
International aid/development worker
Be You, Be Bold, Be Positively Fearless. Be Present.
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Our own behaviour appears reasonable to us, and any mistakes that we make are easily attributed to other factors. However, if the same mistake is made by a third person, our tendency is to judge them as incompetent or inconsiderate. This is known as The Actor-Observer Bias.
Even on social ...
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