Not a fixed trait - Deepstash

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Sorrow and tragedy will happen to us all - here are 3 strategies to help you cope

Not a fixed trait

Resilience is not a fixed or elusive trait that only some people have. It requires the willingness to try basic strategies.

It won't remove all the pain, but it can help to understand that it is possible to live and grieve at the same time.

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Avoiding Tough Conversations

There is a natural tendency in humans to avoid tough conversations, due to the fear of conflict.

But sometimes it is necessary to have these conversations, as postponing them can make the sit...

Adar Cohen
Adar Cohen

"Conflict is information, and handled well, conflict is opportunity."

Act As If You Don't Know

Asking questions as if you don't know anything about the whole problem, and listening carefully, can ease out the worst of conflicts.

Listening also makes other people get the impression that you care.

Defensive failure

It's what occurs when we want to achieve something and we think about it constantly but we don't do it.

This happens because of a few mental blocks that are keeping us locked in this c...

“I just don’t think I can do this”

Experiencing a rocky start is enough sometimes to discourage us from going any further and we convince ourselves we don't have what it takes to do a certain task.

How to outsmart it: Develop a growth mindset and try to see each failure as just an opportunity to learn.

“People like me aren’t good at this”

While our identities can give us a sense of meaning and a place in the world, sometimes they can get in our way when we’re attempting new things: many of us will avoid doing anything that threatens our sense of self.

How to outsmart it: Find people like you, that are doing the things you'd like to do and share your concerns with them.

Social compliance and Social proof

Social compliance refers to how we respond to people in authority or to those who have the appearance of competence and expertise.

Social proof refers to how we look for cues a...

We get fooled regularly

People and businesses often use techniques to get us to do what they want. We go for the “buy two, get one free” offer at the drugstore, or buy the advertised special, even when it is not really needed.

While other people are responsible for the scams, the persuasion mostly happens in our minds. 

Misdirection

The age-old tactic of misdirection is employed to distract us from the real issue. Companies and governments even implement it: they release bad news on Fridays or before major holidays with the hope that the weekend will distract us from focussing on the issue.