Resilience is not a fixed or elusive trait that only some people have. It requires the willingness to try basic strategies.
It won't remove all the pain, but it can help to understand that it is possible to live and grieve at the same time.
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The five stages of grief are described as anger, bargaining, denial, depression, and acceptance. Yet, when a tragedy strike, we already know how bad things are. What is most needed is hope.
We live in an age where many feel that they are entitled to a perfect life. But at some stage, everyone will face a tragedy.
When tough times do come, resilient people seem to recognize that suffering is part of every human life. Understanding this stops you from feeling discriminated against when trouble comes.
Resilient people typically manage to focus on the things they can change and accept the things they can't.
Don't get swallowed up by your troubles. Don't lose what you still have to what you have lost.
When you go through a difficult time, you might need a reminder to be grateful.
Try to find the things you can be grateful for. Tune in to what's good in your world.
Ask yourself if what you are doing is helping you or hurting you.
Ask: “Is the way I’m thinking and acting helping me or harming me in my bid to get that promotion? To pass that exam? To recover from a heart attack?”
While our identities can give us a sense of meaning and a place in the world, sometimes they can get in our way when we’re attempting new things: many of us will avoid doing anything that threatens our sense of self.
How to outsmart it: Find people like you, that are doing the things you'd like to do and share your concerns with them.
There is a natural tendency in humans to avoid tough conversations, due to the fear of conflict.
But sometimes it is necessary to have these conversations, as postponing them can make the situation worse.
The age-old tactic of misdirection is employed to distract us from the real issue. Companies and governments even implement it: they release bad news on Fridays or before major holidays with the hope that the weekend will distract us from focussing on the issue.