Questioners turn all outer expectations into inner expectations if they believe its reasonable and efficient. Thus, Questioners only meet inner expectations.Questioners excel at being logical and efficient in everything they do. But they can also be viewed as annoying for their constant questioning unless they are very socially adept when asking those questions.Some random characteristics of Questioners: They hate waiting in line, they love spreadsheets, and they love sharing articles.

Questioners: The Quest For Logic And Purpose

Questioners have the self-direction of Upholders, the reliability of Obligers, and the authenticity of Rebels.

An Upholder is someone who gets things done efficiently and makes time for themselves as well. An Upholders responds well to both other people’s expectations and their own personal ones so they’re very reliable at work and get all of their tasks done without any trouble.Some upholders can be so obedient that they don’t question what the rules are and follow them without thinking. These people often become snitches because of their need to obey authority. They also tend to resist change, which is why they’re not as successful in life as others who are more critical thinkers.

Upholders: People Who Are Good at Upholding Their Commitments and Responsibilities

Most of us aren’t ready for all the expectations the world piles onto us, let alone the internal ones we have of ourselves that add to the pressure.And yet, somehow we deal with them. We learn, we struggle and over time, hopefully we get better. Of course we develop much of our approach to dealing with our internal and life’s external expectations subconsciously. Identifying the approach you’ve shaped so far is what The Four Tendencies are for.

Learning To Live While We Live

Rebels want to do what they want to do, in their own way, and on their own time. If someone else tells them to do the exact same thing, they will resist. They don’t even want to tell themselves to do something. They prefer to act from freedom, choice, and self-expression.Rebels might struggle with themselves because conventional advice doesn’t work for them. They are told to set goals and to get outer accountability by all the other tendencies, but those things actually make it harder for Rebels to do things because they feel a lack of freedom.

Rebels: The Misfits

The Four Tendencies is a personality profile framework to help you understand how you and the people around you deal with their outer and inner expectations, so you can better manage your life, work and relationships.Understanding the four tendencies has three primary benefits:1. Self-mastery in getting yourself to do things.2. Influencing others to do things.3. Understanding why others do or don’t do things, which reduces frustration and increases harmony.

The Four Tendencies: The Premise

There is no magic, one-size-fits all answer for building a happier, healthier, more productive life.

The largest group are Obligers. In theory, that’s not a problem, because it’s fairly easy for Obligers to make good use of their tendency. As long as they set up a good accountability system, they can be consistent and reach their goals.Obligers often face the biggest inner struggle, because they always put everyone else before themselves.  This can culminate in self-sabotage through little acts of defiance that end up hurting themselves more than anyone else, for example failing a test on purpose, just to prove a point.

Obligers: The Biggest and Hardest Group to Be In

People fit squarely into one of the four tendencies. If you want to get into more detail, then technically, people fit into one of 8 primary-secondary combinations:<ol><li>Upholder-Questioner</li><li>Upholder-Obliger</li><li>Obliger-Upholder</li><li>Obliger-Rebel</li><li>Questioner-Upholder</li><li>Questioner-Rebel</li><li>Rebel-Obliger</li><li>Rebel-Questioner</li></ol>For example, a Questioner-Upholder is more likely to meet outer expectations than a Questioner-Rebel.

The Four Tendencies: Multiple Traits

It’s easy to get carried away with personality types like these, but that’s dangerous. When you chisel your tendency in stone you might accept it, but you’ll also turn it into an excuse and stop believing that you can change.Instead of putting yourself in a box, use this concept to get to know yourself better, identify your strengths and weaknesses, and improve your relationships with others by being mindful of their tendencies.

Don’t Box Yourself in With This Framework, Use It to Understand Your Own Behavior Better

Upholders meet inner and outer expectations. They love rules, having a clear plan and are self-motivated and disciplined.  Questioners meet their own expectations, but resist outer ones. They need to see purpose and reason in anything they do.  Obligers meet other peoples’ expectations easily, but struggle with their own. The must be held accountable by a friend, coach or boss to get things done. Rebels defy both outer and inner expectations. Above all, they want to be free to choose and express their own individuality.

Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels

In this groundbreaking analysis of personality type, bestselling author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin reveals the one simple question that will transform what you do at home, at work, and in life. During her multibook investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question "How do I respond to expectations?" we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change. The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you've ever thought: • People can rely on me, but I can't rely on myself. • How can I help someone to follow good advice? • People say I ask too many questions. • How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask—or who keeps telling me what to do? With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. It's far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

books

Books

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Are you an Upholder, a Questioner, an Obliger, or a Rebel? From the author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project comes a groundbreaking analysis of personality type that “will immediately improve every area of your life” (Melissa Urban, co-founder of the Whole30).   During her multibook investigation into human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies:   • Upholders meet outer and inner expectations readily. “Discipline is my freedom.” • Questioners meet inner expectations, but meet outer expectations only if they make sense. “If you convince me why, I’ll comply.” • Obligers (the largest Tendency) meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet inner expectations—therefore, they need outer accountability to meet inner expectations. “You can count on me, and I’m counting on you to count on me.” • Rebels (the smallest group) resist all expectations, outer and inner alike. They do what they choose to do, when they choose to do it, and typically they don’t tell themselves what to do. “You can’t make me, and neither can I.”   Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. It’s far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.   With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative.

GRETCHEN RUBIN

Similar ideas

There is no perfect method for everyone

Time Management And Personality

Having The Right Attitude In Life