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The Four Tendencies: The Premise

The Four Tendencies: The Premise

The Four Tendencies is a personality profile framework to help you understand how you and the people around you deal with their outer and inner expectations, so you can better manage your life, work and relationships.

Understanding the four tendencies has three primary benefits:

1. Self-mastery in getting yourself to do things.

2. Influencing others to do things.

3. Understanding why others do or don’t do things, which reduces frustration and increases harmony.

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The Four Tendencies: Multiple Traits

The Four Tendencies: Multiple Traits

People fit squarely into one of the four tendencies. If you want to get into more detail, then technically, people fit into one of 8 primary-secondary combinations:

  1. Upholder-Questioner
  2. Upholder-Obliger
  3. Obliger-Upholder
  4. Obliger-Rebel
  5. Questioner-Upholder

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Questioners: The Quest For Logic And Purpose

Questioners: The Quest For Logic And Purpose

Questioners turn all outer expectations into inner expectations if they believe its reasonable and efficient. Thus, Questioners only meet inner expectations.

Questioners excel at being logical and efficient in everything they do. But they can also be viewed as annoying for their constant qu...

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GRETCHEN RUBIN

There is no magic, one-size-fits all answer for building a happier, healthier, more productive life.

GRETCHEN RUBIN

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Learning To Live While We Live

Learning To Live While We Live

Most of us aren’t ready for all the expectations the world piles onto us, let alone the internal ones we have of ourselves that add to the pressure.

And yet, somehow we deal with them. We learn, we struggle and over time, hopefully we get better. Of course we develop much of our approach to...

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Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels

Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels

Upholders meet inner and outer expectations. They love rules, having a clear plan and are self-motivated and disciplined.  

Questioners meet their own expectations, but resist outer ones. They need to see purpose and reason in anything they do.  

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Rebels: The Misfits

Rebels: The Misfits

Rebels want to do what they want to do, in their own way, and on their own time. If someone else tells them to do the exact same thing, they will resist. They don’t even want to tell themselves to do something. They prefer to act from freedom, choice, and self-expression.

Rebels might strug...

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Obligers: The Biggest and Hardest Group to Be In

Obligers: The Biggest and Hardest Group to Be In

The largest group are Obligers

In theory, that’s not a problem, because it’s fairly easy for Obligers to make good use of their tendency. As long as they set up a good accountability system, they can be consistent and reach their goals.

Obligers often face the bigge...

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Upholders: People Who Are Good at Upholding Their Commitments and Responsibilities

Upholders: People Who Are Good at Upholding Their Commitments and Responsibilities

An Upholder is someone who gets things done efficiently and makes time for themselves as well. An Upholders responds well to both other people’s expectations and their own personal ones so they’re very reliable at work and get all of their tasks done without any trouble.

Some upholders can ...

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GRETCHEN RUBIN

Questioners have the self-direction of Upholders, the reliability of Obligers, and the authenticity of Rebels.

GRETCHEN RUBIN

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Don’t Box Yourself in With This Framework, Use It to Understand Your Own Behavior Better

Don’t Box Yourself in With This Framework, Use It to Understand Your Own Behavior Better

It’s easy to get carried away with personality types like these, but that’s dangerous. When you chisel your tendency in stone you might accept it, but you’ll also turn it into an excuse and stop believing that you can change.

Instead of putting yourself in a box, use this concept to get to ...

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CURATED FROM

CURATED BY

ralcal

Commercial art gallery manager

The four personality types.

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