GRETCHEN RUBIN

An Upholder is someone who gets things done efficiently and makes time for themselves as well. An Upholders responds well to both other people’s expectations and their own personal ones so they’re very reliable at work and get all of their tasks done without any trouble.

Some upholders can ...

Questioners turn all outer expectations into inner expectations if they believe its reasonable and efficient. Thus, Questioners only meet inner expectations.

Questioners excel at being logical and efficient in everything they do. But they can also be viewed as annoying for their constant qu...

It’s easy to get carried away with personality types like these, but that’s dangerous. When you chisel your tendency in stone you might accept it, but you’ll also turn it into an excuse and stop believing that you can change.

Instead of putting yourself in a box, use this concept to get to ...

Rebels want to do what they want to do, in their own way, and on their own time. If someone else tells them to do the exact same thing, they will resist. They don’t even want to tell themselves to do something. They prefer to act from freedom, choice, and self-expression.

Rebels might strug...

People fit squarely into one of the four tendencies. If you want to get into more detail, then technically, people fit into one of 8 primary-secondary combinations:

1. Upholder-Questioner
2. Upholder-Obliger
3. Obliger-Upholder
4. Obliger-Rebel
5. Questioner-Upholder

The largest group are Obligers. 

In theory, that’s not a problem, because it’s fairly easy for Obligers to make good use of their tendency. As long as they set up a good accountability system, they can be consistent and reach their goals.

Obligers often face the bigge...

Most of us aren’t ready for all the expectations the world piles onto us, let alone the internal ones we have of ourselves that add to the pressure.

And yet, somehow we deal with them. We learn, we struggle and over time, hopefully we get better. Of course we develop much of our approach to...

Upholders meet inner and outer expectations. They love rules, having a clear plan and are self-motivated and disciplined.  

Questioners meet their own expectations, but resist outer ones. They need to see purpose and reason in anything they do.  

The Four Tendencies is a personality profile framework to help you understand how you and the people around you deal with their outer and inner expectations, so you can better manage your life, work and relationships.

Understanding the four tendencies has three primary benefits: