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A Powerful Ingredient In Life Experiences
- Surprise is a key ingredient in our formative moments. Formative events are the experiences that have shaped who we believe we are. They form our self-concept.
- All of us are influenced by the combination of our past experiences, and the majority of our experiences are part of a slow, gradual evolution in self-perception.
- Formative events are like a sudden revolution, resulting in a sudden shift in how we perceive ourselves.
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The Bottom Line
Surprise has the power to help others change how they see themselves. But, crucially, it also gives us the power to change how we see ourselves.
Armed with these new surprise skills, you can now see yourself as an agent of surprise—unlocking people’s
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Delivering The Message: Be Quick And Sharp
Share your sincere perception of the individual’s strength. Make your message quick and to the point, as though you’re stating an empirical fact. The more you dwell on the topic or dress it up as flowery praise, the less surprising it will be, and the less power it will have to change someone’s m...
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Defining Surprise
Surprise is the error signal our brains produce when something unexpected or mis-expected happens. It was an essential adaptation for our ancestors because it forced them to freeze and focus on threats and opportunities. Those who could not experience surprise could not react or learn quickly eno...
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How to Trigger a Shift in People’s Self-Perception
- Spot a self-criticism you’d like to help someone revise. For example, perhaps your student sees herself as a slow learner, your employee believes he lacks creativity, or your spouse beats themself up for be...
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Key Takeaways
- Surprise is a big deal to our brains. It makes us stop, notice, and learn.
- Surprise comments from others work below our conscious radar, helping us reshape our self-perception and reexamine long-held patterns of thinking.
- Most of our formative moments—the moments that cause a...
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Our Image In A Professional Setting
In a professional setting, our identity is largely governed by the perception of our peers, colleagues and bosses,
Our ‘image’ depends on how they measure the impact of our behaviour and actions, how our character is perceived and how we are compared with others. We cultivate our image as ...
2. Reading Multiplies Our Experiences, We don’t generally experience life very quickly.
Building anything of value as a leader takes time, and the process is typically challenging and messy.
Think of building a family. It takes almost 20 years to raise a child, and we only get a limited number of children to practice on. Older couples will say it takes a lifetime to build a su...
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