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Language as a tool

Language as a tool
When students are learning a new language, it is notable that some can express their thoughts beautifully with a limited vocabulary. Still, others that know the language much better struggle to make themselves understood.

How well somebody communicates in a new language has very little to do with their language level and a lot more to do with their attitude.

@gra_maa136

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Some people have a fear of being wrong. They measure success by how few mistakes they make.

Some people know what the language should sound like, where they are at currently, and how far they have to go to get there.

Speaking a language is not like those exams that many of us had to take in grade school, where a tiny grammar mistake would lose you marks.

In the real world, small errors don't matter. What matters is to make yourself understood. 

Don't focus on yourself or on your own mistakes. Focus on the other person you're talking to and the result you want to get. 

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Secretly, you don’t want to do it; you just think you should want to do it. You value it for the wrong reasons. If you’re only coming up with extrinsic reasons for your activity or goal, you may decide that it’s not worth pursuing.

How to outsmart it: Think of your intrinsic reason — the motivation behind why you’re doing what you say you want to do — like your own personal energy source.

Your reasons for developing self-sabotaging behaviors most likely spring from an understandable and human place. 

The way out of it is to have insight into who you are in a relationship. Your partner will also have a chance to get to know you, and together you can break the pattern to sabotage.