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1. You MUST respect the other person.
2. You MUST compromise. Little ones and big ones.
3. You MUST talk openly. Communication is critical.
Look at these three things and make sure you have them in your relationship before you contemplate either move.
"Do you respect that person?" You don't need to be married to find out if you respect that person, that should be something that you should establish. You should ask yourself about the partner that you're with, "Do they respect me? or they only respect me when I wear the right clothing? The right make up on? or they're nice to me?" But being nice to someone does not mean you respect them, test that out, push a bit.
Find out if someone respect you even if you differ with them on things. Again, you don't need to be married or living tigether to try that out.
If all you have done in your relationship is he calls you up and says, "Let's go to dinner." Then, you'll asked where you want to go. He'll said, "I chose last time you choose this time." And you'll agree.
You should try a night where each of you picks a place, and the other one is force to go to the one they don't like. The example above is not compromising, it's a practice of being nice with each other. The advice Mitch said was the perfect example of experimenting with compromising. Again, you don't need to be married or live together to try that out.
If you think these are not important, and you'll reason out that love will find a way. Well, love runs into walls just like the rest of us. If the wall is constant, if there's no hole on it, if there's no way through it, eventually it can knock down too.
Before you make the decision for yourself, try it out yourself on those three and examine if you are also ready to be married, because if there is any answer here that doesn't sound right, then that's most probably a red flag.
Ask each other about:
a. what would you do when you're married?
b. How would you live if you are married?
c. How would you raise your children?
d. What religion would you raise your children?
e. How often would you go to church?
f. Public or private school would you like to put in your children?
g. Where you would like to live cities or provinces?
h. Do you enjoy traveling or stay inside the house?
i. How important is it to you be close with your family when you're married?
j. How important is money to you?
k. How much money do you think we need to have for us/you to be happy?
By listening to Mitch Albom's podcast I led to share his Three (3) Critical Points of a Successful Marriage/Relationship.
l. How much do I/you need to make?
m. Are you okay if I don't work and you're the one one who's working/Are you okay if you don't work and I'm the one who's working for the family?
n. If we have children, what are we going to do?
Sometimes I read books.
Marriage nowadays is overlooked, most couples are going separate ways because they find something that they don't know about their partner, that made them not compromising leading to breakups. Marriage should be valued and made God the center of it.
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