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How to Become a Quick Learner

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How to Become a Quick Learner

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#8

#8

“I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”

-Steven Wright

10

121 reads

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#10

#10

“All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.”

-Steven Wright

11

134 reads

#19

#19

“There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.”

-Steven Wright

11

66 reads

#23

#23

“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”

-Steven Wright

12

68 reads

#28

#28

“What happens if you get scared half to death twice?”

-Steven Wright

11

70 reads

#29

#29

“My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.”

-Steven Wright

10

62 reads

#4

#4

“I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.”

-Steven Wright

10

170 reads

#6

#6

“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.”

-Steven Wright

10

153 reads

#18

#18

“How do you get off a non-stop flight?”

-Steven Wright

10

67 reads

#26

#26

“I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.”

-Steven Wright

11

68 reads

#14

#14

“I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.”

-Steven Wright

10

82 reads

#27

#27

“You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.”

-Steven Wright

10

61 reads

#16

#16

“My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.”

-Steven Wright

10

85 reads

#22

#22

“Always try to be modest and be proud of it!”

-Steven Wright

11

67 reads

#11

#11

“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”

-Steven Wright

11

119 reads

30 Steven Wright Quotes and Sayings

30 Steven Wright Quotes and Sayings

Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and o...

12

161 reads

#17

#17

“I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.”

-Steven Wright

11

89 reads

#15

#15

“I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.”

-Steven Wright

11

79 reads

#21

#21

“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.”

-Steven Wright

12

68 reads

#12

#12

“I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.”

-Steven Wright

10

115 reads

#24

#24

“I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”

-Steven Wrigh

11

65 reads

#25

#25

“I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.”

-Steven Wright

10

65 reads

#30

#30

“I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.”

-Steven Wright

10

72 reads

#13

#13

“I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.”

-Steven Wright

14

108 reads

#2

#2

“There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

-Steven Wright

10

188 reads

#3

#3

“I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.”

-Steven Wright

11

185 reads

#5

#5

“A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.”

-Steven Wright

10

162 reads

#7

#7

“Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.”

10

126 reads

#9

#9

“If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?”

-Steven Wright

10

120 reads

#20

#20

“I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.”

-Steven Wright

10

72 reads

#1

#1

“For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.”

-Steven Wright

10

197 reads

CURATED FROM

CURATED BY

tomjoad

Introverted Extravert

30 Steven Wright Jokes and Sayings

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The game is a given — something we are born into — and our existence is framed such that it’s only meaningful in the context of the game’s rules and elements and processes.

That’s how the ego relates to life: “life is a g...

Aim to build a monopoly

Aim to build a monopoly

Aim to build a company that is so different and ahead of the others that it's not even competing.

A monopoly enables you to:

  • Allocate more resources towards innovation and long-term plans.
  • Stop focusing on generating revenue to survive.

Monopolies

Monopolies don’t socially optimise resources. Monopolies create barriers to entry, effectively preventing meaningful competition. There’s the controversial notion of natural monopolies when barriers to entry are so high that really only one company can succeed.

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