Explore the World's Best Ideas
Join today and uncover 100+ curated journeys from 50+ topics. Unlock access to our mobile app with extensive features.
Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.
13
164 reads
โFor my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.โ
-Steven Wright
11
201 reads
โThere's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.โ
-Steven Wright
11
192 reads
โI used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.โ
-Steven Wright
11
174 reads
โA lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.โ
-Steven Wright
11
166 reads
โI put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.โ
-Steven Wright
11
157 reads
โIf you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?โ
-Steven Wright
11
124 reads
โI have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.โ
-Steven Wright
11
118 reads
โI bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.โ
-Steven Wright
11
85 reads
โMy roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.โ
-Steven Wright
11
88 reads
โThere was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.โ
-Steven Wright
12
69 reads
โIf everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.โ
-Steven Wright
13
71 reads
โI hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.โ
-Steven Wright
11
67 reads
โI put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.โ
-Steven Wright
12
70 reads
โYou know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.โ
-Steven Wright
11
63 reads
โMy dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.โ
-Steven Wright
11
64 reads
โI bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I donโt know how I got there.โ
-Steven Wright
11
75 reads
IDEAS CURATED BY
CURATOR'S NOTE
30 Steven Wright Jokes and Sayings
โ
Learn more about entertainment with this collection
Cultivating a growth mindset and embracing challenges
Developing adaptive thinking and problem-solving skills
Effective learning frameworks and approaches
Related collections
Similar ideas
6 ideas
155 Of The Most Famous Quotes Of All Time โ WisdomQuotes
wisdomquotes.com
1 idea
16 ideas
The Most Famous Quotes of All Time | Keep Inspiring Me
keepinspiring.me
Read & Learn
20x Faster
without
deepstash
with
deepstash
with
deepstash
Personalized microlearning
โ
100+ Learning Journeys
โ
Access to 200,000+ ideas
โ
Access to the mobile app
โ
Unlimited idea saving
โ
โ
Unlimited history
โ
โ
Unlimited listening to ideas
โ
โ
Downloading & offline access
โ
โ
Supercharge your mind with one idea per day
Enter your email and spend 1 minute every day to learn something new.
I agree to receive email updates