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Every kid needs to feel seen - here are 2 ways you can do this

Observe, Feel and Witness

Instead of being immediately judgemental of your child's behavior, we need to participate and look with clarity. Discard all preconceived notions.

Example: If a child throws the spaghetti plate on the floor, you might be angry, but if you look at his real intention of doing so, maybe curious to see how the splatter looks on the floor, you might respond a bit differently.

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Every kid needs to feel seen - here are 2 ways you can do this

Every kid needs to feel seen - here are 2 ways you can do this

https://ideas.ted.com/every-kid-needs-to-feel-seen-here-are-2-ways-you-can-do-this/

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6

Key Ideas

Just Show Up

If one adult in a child's life constantly shows up for them, they turn out better in:

  • Happiness Quotient
  • Academic Success
  • Leadership Skills
  • Meaningful Relationships

The Four S's

Showing up for your child is easy to do. A child should be made to feel Safe, Seen, Soothed and Secure.

When we show up and give our children an opportunity to be seen, honestly and directly, then we act as a living mirror for them to see themselves.


Don't Deny Their Feelings

While we reassure our kids telling them what they are feeling is not going to be a problem, and they shouldn't cry or worry, we are ignoring their feelings.

Acknowledging what they feel is as important as correcting their course.

Observe, Feel and Witness

Instead of being immediately judgemental of your child's behavior, we need to participate and look with clarity. Discard all preconceived notions.

Example: If a child throws the spaghetti plate on the floor, you might be angry, but if you look at his real intention of doing so, maybe curious to see how the splatter looks on the floor, you might respond a bit differently.

Create Space and Time

Intentionally creating a time and space, maybe in the evening to see and talk to your child, looking and learning, is a great way to helping your kids feel seen and heard.

Your presence is more important than your usual routine of the evening.

Beyond Small Talk

If the talk between a parent and a child is forced and mechanical, then the child may dread it.

The time spent together has to be natural, honest and full of deep understanding, not some work you have to do to groom your child.

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The Kids Are All Right

Due to the lockdown, most day-care centres, workplaces and schools are now closed. This has parents grappling with kids using technology at home, consuming media all day.

A few tips that can...

Don't Hand Over The Remote

Don’t just hand over the remote to the kids. Help them choose the right content that is educational, informative, and interesting enough for them to engage in for hours. There are various learning apps that can help them learn subjects, like Sesame Street, Bedtime Math and many others. Resources like Common Sense Media have plenty of content and activities related to healthy living, eating, and scientific fun facts. It helps to gauge your kids interest first and then choose the right media.

Participate With The Kids

While they are engaged in the media, stay with your kids(as much as possible), guide them, help them understand and form connections. Kids would have plenty of questions and providing them timely answers with examples makes the whole exercise fruitful and strengthens your bond with them.

one more idea

A growth mindset is a desirable thing to have...

...so many people declare they have it:

  • If they are open minded and flexible, they said they have it
  • If they are kind to people, they said they have it 

But a&nb...

The growth mindset

...is the belief that your abilities can be improved through effort. 

And this means you can get better and hard work pays off.

Tips for encouraging a growth mindset (in yourself and in others):

  • Don’t praise ability or intelligence: That promotes a fixed mindset. Compliment effort, process and choices.
  • Don’t ignore outcome, tie it to effort: You can be happy about success, but attribute it to effort.
  • Respond positively to failure: Failure isn’t bad, it’s a tool for improving.
  • Don’t just say “Try hard.” Set goals: Blind repetition doesn’t work. 
  • Practice a Growth mindset in all areas of life: There’s no area where they cannot improve with hard work.
  • Share your own Growth mindset efforts: Practice it yourself and share your results.

Moral Luck

We judge ourselves and others morally for things that didn't come out as intended, were unforeseen, or were influenced by factors beyond one's control. 

The judgment we should rece...

Feeling Morally Responsible

Some people do their parenting in difficult circumstances, and nothing that is done by them as parents is fully under their control.

The good and bad traits that parents possess can find their way in the child, with them having no say as to what the child will eventually become or do.

The Inner Paradox

Due to so many factors at play, parents are relying on good luck, pulling off a gamble on the child that is being raised. They don't have much leverage on the outcome, the net result of the actions of their offspring.

There is an inner paradox, a duality that exists in the minds of parents, which can make them accept and also reject the responsibility they have towards their kids' actions.