Good listening

A key part of being a good listener is showing the speaker that he or she has your undivided attention. Close your laptop and put away your phone.

This gives those speakers the confidence to express themselves fully without feeling that they’re imposing on your time.

7 percent of a message is conveyed through words. Body language plays a major role in how we communicate and how we listen.

When you’re listening, then, be aware of what your body language is saying to the speaker. Unfold your arms and be open to what this person has to say.

With proper listening you’ll have a crystal clear understanding of the conversation and demonstrate to speakers that you’re invested in what they have to say.

Being a good listener is one of the most potent things you can do to increase your influence and likeability. It is also one of the top skills employers seek in potential and current employees, and it’s correlated with perceived ability to lead.

1. Push other activities from your mind, and be present in the discussion. This tells the other person that you’re ready for the conversation.
2. Keep a neutral expression that simply says, “I’m listening.” We tend to physically react to what we hear and it disrupts our ability to listen and the other person’s ability to be heard. 
3. Offer uninterrupted speaking time. Well-intended or not, interruptions makes effective communication impossible. 
4. Repeat back succinctly and ask validating questions to make sure you heard the speaker correctly.

• Comprehending: To communicate, we must first understand what the other person (or people) are actually saying.
• Retaining: To respond in an appropriate manner, we must understand and retain what the other person has said.
• Responding: An active response should show that we understand what the other person has said, have paid attention to their words and also read their non-verbal cues.

• Educate yourself on common cognitive biases and shortcuts;
• Avoid trying to respond immediately. Allow the other person time to finish speaking, then provide a considered response;
• Minimize conversational narcissism by keeping track of your use of pronouns(I, me);
• Seek to develop a clear picture of the other person’s logic;

• It improve self-awareness.
• It allows you to understand and see things from a different point of view. 
• It allows you to respond, not react.
• It facilitates a deeper level of learning.
• It improves confidence.
• It makes you challenge your assumptions.

• STOP: Take a step back from life or a particular situation.
• LOOK: Identify and get perspective on what you notice and see.
• LISTEN: Listen to your inner guide, the innate wisdom that bubbles up when you give it time and space to emerge.
• ACT: Identify the steps you need to take moving forward to adjust, change or improve.

You’re not in a normal frame of mind when you’re angry. Your anger won’t make you want to resolve a problem; it’ll just make you want to lash out at somebody. 

When you've calmed down, ask yourself if the issue is something that really needs to be addressed or if you just overreacted. If after 24 hours, the thing that bothered is still on your mind, speak or act constructively to remedy the situation.

Don't walk around feeling sad, angry, and mistreated because you think that fate should treat you differently. It's a damaging way to think.

You and you alone are responsible for your happiness. If the world hurls misfortune at you one day, find a way to divert it or turn it into something positive.

• Get your face out of your phone and focus your attention.
• Be willing to receive information.
• Be willing to engage in the conversation and to listen with the intent to understand.
• Be willing to stay the course and not let your mind wander.
• Bring the conversation to a close with takeaways and next steps.
• Respect the existence of emotions and their roles and be aware of the body language also.
• Keep your ego out of the conversation.

• Listening is the basis for growth and advancement. You can’t advance your skills and knowledge without understanding others.
• Listening is also important because we all want love and respect; we want to spend time with people who listen.

Is to not judge or analyze what the person is saying at first. Just focusing on listening and trying to understand their perspective.

1. Paraphrase: Consists of repeating at the speakers a summary of what they say, so they feel understood.
2. Inquire: Obtain all the information that is relevant to the resolution of the issue.
3. Acknowledge: Once the issue is made clear, communicate to your counterpart that you understand it.

The last person you should ever have to censor yourself with is the person you love.

It’s important to make something more important in your relationship than merely making each other feel good all of the time. The feel-good stuff happens when you get the other stuff right.

Romantic sacrifice is idealized in our culture. 

Sometimes the only thing that can make a relationship successful is ending it at the appropriate time, before it becomes too damaging. And the willingness to do that allows us to establish the necessary boundaries to help ourselves and our partner grow together.

"Science is what you know. Philosophy is what you don’t know."

Philosophy is examining our understanding of reality and knowledge. Philosophy consists of three major branches:

1. Metaphysics - What is true about existence.
2. Epistemology - How we can know that it is true. Epistemology has given us science, logic/reason, economics, psychology, and other theories of knowledge.
3. Ethics - What actions we should take as a result of this knowledge. Ethics contains concepts such as democracy, human rights, the treatment of animals, and the environment.

When you order your thoughts into a coherent belief system, you are engaging in philosophy. To criticize philosophy, you must rely on philosophy.

Philosophers are interested in asking whether an idea is logical–rather than simply assuming it must be right because it is popular and long-established. - Alain de Botton

Philosophers teach us to think about our emotions, rather than simply have them. By understanding and analysing our feelings, we learn to see how emotions impact on our behaviour in unexpected, counterintuitive and sometimes dangerous ways.  - Alain de Botton