CONFIDENCE: TWO DEFINITIONS

Is your mind getting annoyed or frustrated: 'Oh please, don't tell me he's going to go down the old "fake it till you make it" path? I've heard that one before!'? Or is it predicting the worst: 'Oh no. He's going to tell me I just have to put up with these feelings of anxiety, grit my teeth, and ...

'You can't fake confidence, earn it', he says. And in his opinion, there's only one way to do that: 'You have to do the work. This is a key point. If we want to do anything with confidence: speak, paint, make love, play tennis or socialize, then we have to do the work. We have to practice the ski...

Do you have a mind that is never satisfied? Is it like a little fascist dictator inside your head, always demanding more? If so, you can easily become fearful of making mistakes, and very self-critical if you don't meet your own expectations. This is commonly known as 'perfectionism'. All of us, ...

The head monk scratches his head and thinks for a moment. Then he says:

'Find the man who tells you he has eliminated all negative thoughts. And if you find such a man, you'll know that's not who you're looking for.'

Are you surprised to hear that?

Most people are because we've all been brainwashed about positive thinking. But the fact is, the human mind is not naturally positive.

Eastern models of psychology such as Zen, yoga, and the Tao have recognized for thousands of years that the normal hum...

Do you buy into this idea? Then let me quote you a couple of people whom you could hardly call 'weak': legendary long-distance cyclist Lance Armstrong, one of the greatest athletes of all time; and blockbuster movie star Hugh Jackman, whose rippling muscles cause both men and women to swoon.

Few individuals have inspired people like Nelson Mandela. He stood for justice, freedom, and equality in the face of incredible odds. He risked his life over and over, opposing the brutally oppressive apartheid regime of South Africa.

But when the South African authorities ...

• How would you behave differently?
• How would you walk and talk differently?
• How would you play, work, and perform differently?
• How would you treat others differently: your friends, relatives, partner, parents, children, and work colleagues?
• How would you treat ...

The story goes confident people don't feel anxious or afraid. This is simply not so. Back to the first two myths. The fact is, in a challenging situation, even the most confident people on the planet experience fear. However, when you know how to handle it effectively, it does not destroy your co...

When others saw Mandela walking through the grounds, holding himself proud and erect, their spirits soared. As Stengel puts it, the sight 'was enough to keep them going for days'.

When Mandela strolled confidently across the prison courtyard, was that an example of 'confidence, the feeling'...

Of course, it's very easy to say all this, but it's not so easy to do in real life. Why not? Because to develop and practice skills requires time and effort, and our minds usually give us many reasons not to do it: 'It's too hard', 'I'm too busy', 'I'm not in the mood' 'I've got no motivation', ...

Does your mind undermine you?

Does it tell you that you don't have what it takes, or that you're no good at what you're doing?

Does it claim that any moment now you're going to screw it all up?

Do you ever suffer from 'impostor syndrome', where your mind convinces you that you'...

1. A feeling of certainty or assurance

The first definition of confidence - a feeling of certainty or assurance is by far the most widely used. Most people think of self-confidence as a powerful feeling of certainty or assurance: a sense of being cool and at ease; an absolute belief that yo...