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An understandable concern for anyone who is seeking to change their personality is that they are not being true to themselves, that they are somehow being fake. I sympathize, and I wouldn’t want anyone to feel pressured by others to change if they don’t want to. However, it’s equally important to realize that you aren’t defined or limited by your past.
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699 reads
MORE IDEAS ON THIS
In my book, I lay out numerous practical strategies for how you might change each of five main personality traits, including becoming less neurotic and more extroverted and conscientious. The most effective approach is to mix strategies that will change you from the inside out (such as lowering y...
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694 reads
Stories like this mirror the science of personality. While 50% of the variation in our traits is genetic, the rest is up for grabs, as we are continually shaped by our relationships, social roles, and major life experiences. For instance, echoing the Bellucci and Cassel story, when people’s perso...
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917 reads
Research findings back this up. Whereas William James, the great American psychologist, said that personality was set like plaster by age 30, modern longitudinal studies that have followed the same people over many decades have shown that our personality traits, in fact, continue to change all th...
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A true “super couple,” the actress and model Monica Bellucci and her actor husband Vincent Cassel were Europe’s answer to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. But, after 18 years together, including 14 in marriage and several joint appearances in films, the pair announced their split in 2013. The experi...
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Research shows that changes in our personal values more often precede personality change, rather than the other way around. Becoming a better father, fighting poverty, sharing your love of art, improving your town, volunteering overseas, or even learning a new skill—it doesn’t matter what we call...
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599 reads
In my freshman year at college, I met a student who was deeply frustrated; he wanted his time at college to be fun and full of friends and socializing, yet he was extremely introverted and spent most of his time alone. But it was inspiring to see what he did next—he made specific plans for how to...
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821 reads
Studies have shown that people with desires to change one or more of their traits are able to do so, especially if they make specific plans for how they will change their behavior, and persist with enough dedication that these changes become habitual. On the other hand, desiring change but failin...
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5 key insights from the new book, Be Who You Want: Unlocking the Science of Personality Change (available now from Amazon) .
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To consider some other life events, job losses have been shown to lower conscientiousness, and illness and bereavement to raise neuroticism (also known as emotional instability). By recognizing the ways that life might affect your traits, you will be better placed to anticipate these effects and ...
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868 reads
Whether it’s Anthony Joshua metamorphosing from petty thug to youth role model, Catra Corbett from addict to elite athlete, or Maajid Nawaz transforming from extremist to pacifist, the stories I have uncovered all speak to the same pattern: People found a new calling, and this influenced their pe...
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637 reads
If you’d met Femi as a 21-year-old, I’m sure you’d have formed the impression that he had a highly disagreeable personality. He’d been banned from the area he grew up in, charged with possession of drugs, and forced to wear an electronic monitoring tag. Yet fast-forward to today and Femi, or Anth...
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1.57K reads
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Be Who You Want: Unlocking The Science of Personality Change
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