When work is a blur it's easy to think you just got lucky. But I'm guessing you've noticed that people who are very confident about their abilities can often explain them to you. They're aware of their system. Step outside yourself and notice what you do that gets the results. As the great Carl Jung once said: "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."

What would your reaction be if I told you, "I took 10 weeks of tennis lessons and my tennis luck increased dramatically!" You'd laugh. Systems and training don't increase luck. They increase skill. You're just not noticing or acknowledging the system you use. (And if I was your system I'd be pissed that Mr. Luck and Ms. Overwork were undeservedly getting all the credit around here.)

Look at the system as separate from you. Like the recipe that makes a good cake. When you have a solid recipe, or good instructions, you feel in control. And what's control? It's the exact opposite of luck. When you recognize that you have a system, and the system is producing those results consistently, the depressing magical thinking of impostor syndrome fades. You have a new "why" that's responsible for those solid results.

Look at the system as separate from you 

Ask yourself these questions: From <a href="https://geni.us/stsw">The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It </a>: <ul><li>Do you chalk your success up to luck, timing or computer error? </li><li>Do you believe "if I can do it, anybody can"? </li><li>Do you agonize over the smallest flaws in your work? </li><li>Are your crushed by even constructive criticism, seeing it as evidence of your ineptness? </li><li>When you do succeed, do you secretly feel like you fooled them again? </li><li>Do you worry that it's a matter of time before you're "found out"? </li> </ul>

Instead, think Goldilocks: you're not looking to compare yourself to "too cold" or "too hot", you're looking for "just right." Bandura says you'll get the best results by observing others who are your peers or slightly better than you. Persons who are similar or slightly higher in ability provide the most informative comparative information for gauging one's own capabilities (Festinger, 1954; Suls &amp; Miller, 1977; Wood, 1989). How does this help? Plain and simple: it's inspiring. "If they can do it, I can do it." They have a system. It works. You have a system (if you take the time to notice it) and it works. You'll probably see what they do is pretty similar to what you do. You both get good results and you're peers. It's not luck.

Problem is, when people with impostor syndrome look at others, they usually look at the wrong people. Often they compare themselves to people who have zero talent and have great difficulty finding their way out of the house every morning. Yeah, this makes you feel better but it doesn't convince you you're talented - it just means you're not an idiot. Other times people with impostor syndrome compare themselves to the top 1% which acts like a fast acting injection of depression concentrate, and is utterly debilitating.

Before we commence with the festivities, I wanted to thank everyone for helping my first book become a Wall Street Journal bestseller. To check it out, click here. *** Impostor Syndrome is like being a secret agent - in the most depressing way imaginable.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

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