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Letters from Esther Perel

Us Vs Our Ideal Self

Most of us live dual lives, filled with ambivalence. On the one hand, we have a person who we really are and on the other hand, a person who we would like to be. We use promises and resolutions to try and bridge the gap.

Promise carries some accountability, and a resolution is simply a desire. Both of these point towards the person we would like to become, the optimized, ideal person that we can only imagine.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Letters from Esther Perel

Letters from Esther Perel

https://estherperel.com/blog/letters-from-esther-6

estherperel.com

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Key Ideas

Us Vs Our Ideal Self

Most of us live dual lives, filled with ambivalence. On the one hand, we have a person who we really are and on the other hand, a person who we would like to be. We use promises and resolutions to try and bridge the gap.

Promise carries some accountability, and a resolution is simply a desire. Both of these point towards the person we would like to become, the optimized, ideal person that we can only imagine.

Outdated Stories

We keep hanging on the outdated promises that no longer serve us, or are no longer relevant. They also take the shape of excuses we have kept frozen inside our minds for decades.

A Different Approach

  • Identify the stories you tell yourself that no longer serve you, inviting others in the conversation.
  • Set up an accountable pattern of change, keeping your friends/family in the loop.
  • Make a promise which is known to your loved ones, for answerability.
  • If some promises need to be broken, do not hesitate.
  • Get back up and on track after a setback.

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  2. Measure Your Progress — If you don’t measure your progress, it’s safe to say that you are not making any. 

  3. Be Accountable To Yourself — One of the most important skills you can learn in life is to be self-reliant. 

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