On becoming mentally strong:<ol><li>Have plans</li><li>Humble yourself, it’s not about you</li><li>Ask for help, cause you’re not supposed to know everything</li><li>Know what you don’t, stop dichotomous thinking</li><li>Stop psychic-ing</li><li>Be accountable</li><li>earn how to process complex emotion</li><li>Learn from mistakes and make it right</li><li>Talk it out</li><li>Take your time</li><li>Honor your discomfort</li></ol>

Chapter 7: From Self-Sabotage to Self-Mastery (1)

<ul><li>Revelations occur when ideas that were sitting in the margins of your mind finally get enough attention to dominate your thoughts.</li><li>All we have is the present, so instead of using your intelligence to hack what’s next, try to get better at where you are currently.</li><li>Stop worrying. Instead of worrying, try to imagine what it feels like to be the third party of your case. Imagine what you could do if you were that person and perhaps what kind of breakthrough you make with the case.</li></ul>

Chapter 4: Building Emotional Intelligence (1)

On negative emotions:<ol><li class="ql-indent-1">anger (towards yourself not others),</li><li class="ql-indent-1">sadness (give it a time/ grief well)</li><li class="ql-indent-1">guilt (admit, apologize, and correct it), embarrassed (be proud of who you are and what you do, process it – don’t leave it behind)</li><li class="ql-indent-1">jealousy and resentment</li><li class="ql-indent-1">regret (see it as a way to motivate you now going forward)</li><li class="ql-indent-1">chronic fear (learn to accept it)</li></ol>

Chapter 3: Your Triggers Are The Guides to Your Freedom (1)

<ul><li>Self-sabotage is effort that consistently met with pain, discomfort, resistance to close the gap between what you want and what you have. Self-sabotage is a coping mechanism that comes from irrational fear, unconscious negative association, and unfamiliarity.</li><li>Human are guided by comfort.</li><li>To prepare for radical change, you have to be ready because you are going to feel more discomfort, ashamed, or scared because you have to start all over.</li></ul>

Chapter 1: The Mountain is You

(6-10)<ol><li>Justifications. You think that it is enough with intention only, but the only meaningful thing is to get the work done instead. Don’t justify yourself just because you are thinking about it.</li><li>Disorganization. When your surrounding is organized, you will feel more organized too.</li><li>Attachment to things that you don’t truthfully want.</li><li>Judging others. When you judge people and think that successful people are not all good, you make it seem that you don’t want to be successful.</li><li>Pride</li></ol>

Chapter 2: There’s No Such Thing as Self-Sabotage (2)

(11-17)<ol><li>Guilt of succeeding. Instead of feeling discomfort or you don’t deserve it, try to think that with success, you can influence more in positive way.</li><li>Fear of falling. It is always better to fall with the right reasons, not because you simply don’t show up because you are afraid of falling.</li><li>Downplaying.</li><li>Unhealthy habits. The key is to ease up good habits.</li><li>Being busy.</li><li>Spending time with the wrong people.</li><li>Worrying about irrational fears or in my case, some least likely circumstances</li></ol>

Chapter 2: There’s No Such Thing as Self-Sabotage (3)

How to tell if you are self-sabotaging:<ol><li>You are more aware of things that you don’t want rather than what you like</li><li>Enjoy impressing people that dislike you rather than those who cares for you</li><li>Putting your head in the sand</li><li>You put more effort to convince people that you’re okay rather than actually being okay</li><li>Prefer to be liked at the cost of happiness</li><li>Scared of own’s feeling</li><li>Chase goals based on somebody’s measurement of success</li><li>Treat your coping mechanism as the main problem</li><li>Doubtful</li><li>Trying to care about everything</li><li>Wait for somebody to help you or until the time is right</li></ol>

Chapter 2: There’s No Such Thing as Self-Sabotage (4)

<ul><li>Gut feeling is real and it is very often the wisest reaction. It is supposed to come as an intuitive thought not intrusive thought.</li><li>Brain is your help from nature to make the right decision, not based on feeling that comes out randomly.</li><li>The importance of self-care. Meeting your needs is a big thing to break self-sabotage cycle</li></ul>

Chapter 3: Your Triggers Are The Guides to Your Freedom (2)

<ul><li>Anxiety comes from logical lapse; it comes from your ability to critically thinking. You tend to rush making decision because it is terrifying. Because it is terrifying, you are only focusing on it that you cannot think logically. Most of anxiety comes not from what is happening, but of your thinking of what would happen. That is why it is called logical lapse, where you skip logical thinking in making decision.</li><li>Critical thinking is not something that you born with, but more like self-learning that takes time, so develop it slowly and use it.</li></ul>

Chapter 4: Building Emotional Intelligence (2)

<ul><li>Tips on letting go: Try to remember how it all started, it can be a place, a time, an experience. And then, imagine you yourself right now meeting your younger self. Tell them exactly what they need to do, the person they need to call, what they need to do, and so on. And finally, tell them that everything is going to be okay. Your current self is the reason why.</li><li>The aim of emotional health is not to be happy forever, but to allow experiencing all range of emotion, whether it is good or bad, and not stored in tension.</li></ul>

Chapter 5: Releasing The Past (1)

On becoming the most powerful version of yourself, you have to:<ol><li>Be aware of your weakness. Delegate your weakness to somebody unless you think it’s better to do it yourself</li><li>Be willing to be disliked. People are gonna judge anyway.</li><li>Act on purpose. Rather than live at the moment, live for the legacy. The intersection of your purpose is what you like, what you are good at, and what the world needs.</li><li>Do your inner work. Everything always has something to teach you.</li></ol>

Chapter 6: Building A New Future

Self-sabotage takes form in:<ol><li>Resistance is what resists us from doing what we should do. The key is to identify each resistance and figure out how to prevent it</li><li>Hitting your upper limit is when you are happy enough to settle. The truth is you can do much more but you decided to not to because you are wired to be comfortable. Try to adapt.</li><li>Uprooting. See the pattern and do not repeat the same mistake.</li><li>Perfectionism. Just do it.</li><li>Limited emotional processing skills. With everything that’s going on the world, you have limit to process everything. Try to understand your feeling and validate it.</li></ol>

Chapter 2: There’s No Such Thing as Self-Sabotage (1)

<ul><li>We are not held back in life because we are incapable of making change. We are held back because we don’t feel like making change, and so we don’t.</li><li>You have to inspire yourself; you have to move.</li></ul>

Chapter 2: There’s No Such Thing as Self-Sabotage (5)

<ul><li>Healing is a painful process (and that’s how it is supposed to), it requires hard work (and it’s fine). The exact moment you decided to heal is when you think the wound is unacceptable anymore. So to move forward, you have to heal. Fear, worrying, and overthinking is not gonna help, but action, preparing, and understanding will.</li><li>Healing is about getting to a place where you prioritize nothing over the quality of your one, short life.</li></ul>

Chapter 5: Releasing The Past (3)

Emotional backlog is emotion that is stored in our body (remember how gut feeling, heart breaking, pain in the neck, weight on shoulder). The way to release it is by:<ol><li>Meditating, but remember the aim of meditation is not to be calm, but rather to feel. Feel all the contained feeling.</li><li>Breath scan, feel each breathing session which part of the body that is tingling. The tingling part is where the tension is and start investigate on where did it come from and how to deal with it. Writing it down might help untangled your feeling.</li></ol>

Chapter 5: Releasing The Past (2)

Living a happy life is about:<ol><li>Stop trying to be</li><li>Live the present</li><li>Stop trying to assert dominance</li><li>Lean into little joys when you find them</li><li>Nurture relationship that you like. Don’t force.</li><li>Learn from whatever it is</li><li>See challenging times as opportunities for transformation. Life is about constant changes.</li><li>Be aware of what you give your energy too. What you feel, what you believe, how you behave, becomes the way you live.</li><li>Schedule time to do nothing</li><li>Schedule time to play. Enjoying life is living out in both the simplest and most transformative ways possible.</li></ol>

Chapter 7: From Self-Sabotage to Self-Mastery (2)

A book by Brianna Wiest where she talks about mountain that has been used as a metaphor for the big challenges and she wants us to master ourselves to be able to overcome it.

The Mountain is You

These are ideas from The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest. Her explanation of self-sabotage is on point and she says that we can overcome challenges when we do internal work of excavating trauma, building resilience, and adjusting how we show up for mastering ourselves.

Chapter 2: There’s No Such Thing as Self-Sabotage (5)

Similar ideas to Chapter 2: There’s No Such Thing as Self-Sabotage (5)

There’s no such thing as a ‘normal’ user

There is no such thing as the ideal partner

Benefits of Self Acceptance