And much of the advice we get isn't helpful either. Merely "telling yourself you're good enough" has all the scientific rigor of a Hallmark Card. Self-affirmations are as likely to cure this as they'd cure baldness. We need real answers, not platitudes.

Funny thing is there's a whole pile of scientific research that addresses this issue. It's called "self-efficacy." The concept was coined by Albert Bandura. He's widely considered the most influential living psychologist and one of the most cited of all time. If there was a Mount Rushmore for psychology, his face would be up there. Bandura's book is Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control .