Good News: your first impressions are <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/07/should-we-trust-our-first-impressions-of-peop/">usually pretty accurate </a>. Bad News: whether they are wrong or right, first impressions <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2010/03/are-first-impressions-really-that-big-a-deal/">affect us in a big way </a>and <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/02/are-we-a-slave-to-our-first-impressions/">we are slow to change them </a>. <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/12/how-to-read-people/">Sam Gosling </a>is about as close to Sherlock Holmes as you can get. He's a personality psychologist at the University of Texas and author of the book <a href="https://amzn.to/29bIzqx">Snoop </a>. Here's Sam: First impressions are often quite helpful but you have to be willing to update them quite rapidly. That's what's very hard to do.

Good News: your first impressions are <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/07/should-we-trust-our-first-impressions-of-peop/">usually pretty accurate </a>. Bad News: whether they are wrong or right, first impressions <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2010/03/are-first-impressions-really-that-big-a-deal/">affect us in a big way </a>and <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/02/are-we-a-slave-to-our-first-impressions/">we are slow to change them </a>. <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/12/how-to-read-people/">Sam Gosling </a>is about as close to Sherlock Holmes as you can get. He's a personality psychologist at the University of Texas and author of the book <a href="https://amzn.to/29bIzqx">Snoop </a>. Here's Sam: So with no tips from me or Sam, and nothing more to go on than a glance, what should you trust your gut about when you first meet someone?

Beyond that, trust people who are <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-can-you-know-who-to-trust">consistently emotionally expressive </a>in their body language: These results suggest that cooperators may be more emotionally expressive than non-cooperators. We speculate that emotional expressivity can be a more reliable signal of cooperativeness than the display of positive emotion alone. (To learn an FBI behavior expert's tips on how to get people to like you, click <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/">here </a>.)

<ul>Ignoring context : Crossed arms don't mean much if the room is cold or the chair they're sitting in doesn't have armrests. Everything has to pass the common sense test given the environment. So ask yourself: "Should someone in this situation be acting like this?" </ul><ul>Not looking for clusters : One of the biggest errors you make is looking for one single tell. That's great in movies about poker players but in real life it's a consistent grouping of actions (sweating, touching the face, and stuttering together ) that is really going to tell you something. So ask yourself: "Are most of this person's behaviors associated with X?" </ul>

Studies show if someone seems <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2009/11/study-snap-first-impressions-count-and-often/">extroverted, confident </a>, <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-much-can-you-tell-about-someones-personal">religious </a>or <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-can-you-accurately-tell-about-a-person-j">conscientious </a>- they probably are. And if they're good-looking, trust your instincts even more. Why? We all pay more attention to pretty people - and so our evaluations end up being <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-it-easier-to-tell-what-beautiful-people-ar">more accurate </a>: Overall, people do judge a book by its cover, but a beautiful cover prompts a closer reading, leading more physically attractive people to be seen both more positively and more accurately. And Sam says you can trust someone's visual "identity claims." These are the things someone chooses to display that says something about who they are or how they want to be perceived.

A class ring. T-shirts with slogans. Tattoos. Pay attention to them because they're usually accurate signs. Here's <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/12/how-to-read-people/">Sam </a>: Identity claims are deliberate statements we make about our attitudes, goals, values, etc... One of the things that's really important to keep in mind about identity statements is because these are deliberate, many people assume we are being manipulative with them and we're being disingenuous, but I think there's little evidence to suggest that that goes on. I think, generally, people really do want to be known. They'll even do that at the expense of looking good. They'd rather be seen authentically than positively if it came down to that choice.

But most of what you believe about body language and analyzing others is based on myth or guesswork, not real research. So how can you learn how to read people the right way? Let's get answers from experts and studies. But first we need to understand all the mistakes you're making... In <a href="https://amzn.to/28TWa40">The Silent Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help-or Hurt-How You Lead </a>the author points out a number of common errors people make in reading people:

(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my bestselling book <a href="http://geni.us/butwt">here </a>.) So you're taking context into consideration, you're looking for clusters of behaviors, you're getting a baseline and you're aware of your biases. Tall order. Let's make it simple to start... In reading people, when can you trust your gut?

So we need to focus on unconscious behaviors that aren't easily controlled and convey a clear message. In <a href="https://amzn.to/291ZSwn">Honest Signals: How They Shape Our World </a>, the authors mention one to keep your eye on: <ul>Speech mimicry and behavioral mimicry: Are they using the same words you use? Speaking at a similar speed and tone? Are they sitting the way you sit? Is a subtle, unconscious game of follow-the-leader going on? This is a sign the other person feels emotionally in sync with you. It can be faked but that's difficult to pull off across an entire conversation. </ul>

<ul>Not getting a baseline : If someone is always jumpy, jumpiness doesn't tell you anything. If someone is always jumpy and they suddenly stop moving - HELLO. So ask yourself: "Is this how they normally act?" </ul><ul>Not being conscious of biases : If you already like or dislike the person, it's going to affect your judgment. And if people <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-two-things-can-help-you-win-over-someone">compliment </a>you, are <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/whats-the-key-to-being-liked-and-being-more-i">similar </a>to you, are <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/whats-more-likely-to-land-you-a-job-a-referra">attractive </a>... these can all sway you, unconsciously. (I know, I know, you don't fall for those tricks. Well, the biggest bias of all is thinking you're <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/which-people-are-most-likely-to-give-in-when">unbiased </a>.) </ul>

Before we commence with the festivities, I wanted to thank everyone for helping my first book become a Wall Street Journal bestseller. To check it out, click here. *** We'd all like to learn how to read people like Sherlock Holmes. And research shows understanding things like body language is even more powerful than you might think.

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Common errors when reading people

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