Common errors when reading people
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Your first impressions are usually pretty accurate. But whether they are wrong or right, first impressions affect us in a big way and we are slow to change them.
You have to be willing to update them quite rapidly.
Focus on unconscious behaviors that aren’t easily controlled and convey a clear message:
They have inflated views of themselves (they think they are better than they actually are).
They make fantastic first impressions. But the stuff that works for narcissists so well in the short term proves lethal in the long term.
In job interviews, narcissists get results, but after three weeks people regard narcissists as untrustworthy. They make awesome first dates, but relationship satisfaction with them shows a big decline after 4 months.
Having a weak circle of friends carries the same risk as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Researchers suggest that the core factors in a happy life are the number of friends, the closeness of friends, the closeness of family, and relationships with neighbors and co-workers.
Listen to your thoughts — but don’t necessarily believe them.
They're suggestions, possibilities. But they’re not gospel. You can’t control what thoughts pop up, but you can decide what is helpful and choose not to give the unhelpful thoughts any more attention than they deserve.
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