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The Feedback Loop from Hell

The Feedback Loop from Hell

Here’s a paradox: the more you pursue the positives, the more negative you’ll feel. Those who desperately want to be rich, worthy or happy will only end up feeling poorer, more unworthy or unhappy. On the other hand, the more you accept the negatives in your life, the better you’ll feel.

We’re surrounded by so many messages about being positive that we tend to feel bad for feeling bad. Manson calls this the “feedback loop from hell”. A false positive desire turns into a negative thought or emotion. This thought or emotion then triggers a chain reaction of other negative thoughts and emotions.

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EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY

EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY

Uncertainty is a part of life, and we need to learn to embrace it. Mark Manson argues that trying to control everything in our lives is a fool's errand, and that we will only end up feeling stressed and anxious.

Manson says that the best way to deal with uncertainty is to a...

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The Self-Awareness Onion

The Self-Awareness Onion

Self-awareness is like an onion, with many layers that can be peeled back to reveal deeper insights about us:

  1. The outermost layer is our public self. This is the self that we present to the world, and it is crafted to project a certain image. 
  2. Our private self,...

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LEARN TO SAY & HEAR NO

LEARN TO SAY & HEAR NO

Learning to say and hear “no” can actually improve your life in 2 key ways: 

  1. When you make a commitment to something, you must say “no” to something else. This doesn’t tie you down, but frees you from trivialities so you can focus on what’s most meaningful (e.g. deepening a relationshi...

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Disappointment Panda

Disappointment Panda

Disappointment Panda is a fictional bear who has the superpower of telling people the harsh truth about themselves. Manson uses Disappointment Panda to represent the part of ourselves that is afraid of failure, rejection, and disappointment.

"Disappointment Panda would ...

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What does it mean to not give a f*ck?

What does it mean to not give a f*ck?

Many of our modern values (success, positivity, greatness etc) can actually make us more insecure & miserable. The way to be happy and fulfilled, Manson says, is to not give a f*ck about everything we’re told to care about. 

Instead, get clear on what truly matters, focus y...

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TAKE RADICAL RESPONSABILITY

TAKE RADICAL RESPONSABILITY

As we know that problems are inevitable, trying to avoid them makes no sense. Complaining about them and playing the victim card is also not going to help you in any way.

So instead of being controlled by your problems, it is wiser to take responsibility and control them. W...

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MARK MANSON

"If you want the rewards, but not the struggle, you don’t really want it."

MARK MANSON

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MARK MANSON

"Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s the cause of it.”

MARK MANSON

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The 5 Counterintuitive Values for a Good Life

The 5 Counterintuitive Values for a Good Life

  • TAKE RADICAL RESPONSIBILITY. No matter what happens in your life, you can always choose how to react. 
  • EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY. The only way to grow is to realize that your perspectives, knowledge, and even your values/beliefs aren’t absolute—they can al...

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CONTEMPLATE YOUR MORTALITY

CONTEMPLATE YOUR MORTALITY

If you fear death (or are preoccupied with ensuring that people remember you after you’re gone), you won’t be able to live fully.

However, if you’ve confronted your mortality, can accept your life as a passing grain in the timelessness of the universe, and can focus on cont...

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FAIL FORWARD

FAIL FORWARD

When we fail, we often have a choice. We can either give up and let the failure define us, or we can learn from our mistakes and use them as an opportunity to grow. Failing forward is about choosing the latter. It's about embracing failure as a part of the learning process and us...

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Breaking the Feedback Loop from Hell

Breaking the Feedback Loop from Hell

To break the cycle of negativity:

  1. ACCEPTANCE: The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships. Mark invites us to think of our self-awareness as an onion. And to imagine our rational self as a

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The Do Something principle

The Do Something principle

The principle states that the best way to overcome procrastination and make progress towards your goals is to simply take action, no matter how small.

We often get stuck in a cycle of inaction because we're waiting for the perfect moment or the right amount of motivation to...

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CURATED FROM

IDEAS CURATED BY

allisoncole

International aid/development worker

Mark Manson is the bad boy of self-help. Really enjoyed his ideas

Other curated ideas on this topic:

The Feedback Loop from Hell

The Feedback Loop from Hell

“The acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”

  • Being open with your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others. The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in y...

Emotional Regulation

 Is your ability to modulate or control the type of emotion you’re feeling, how long you feel that emotion, how strong it is, and whether you can turn it from negative to positive. Good emotional regulation, lets you get over negative feelings relatively quickly.

Having bad emotional...

The Feedback Loop from Hell - Feeling bad about feeling bad 🔄

Being worried about doing the right thing all the time that you become worried about how much you’re worrying. Or feeling so guilty for every mistake you make that you begin to feel guilty about how guilty you’re feeling.

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