Our boundaries define our personal space – and we need to be sovereign there in order to be able to step into our full power and potential.

In keeping with the fighting theme, authenticity also demands some kickass boundaries.To protect ourselves and create nurturing and healthy relationships we must know where to draw the line in the sand.Allowing people to cross it, push our buttons, or walk all over us is a huge <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/counseling-keys/201505/break-the-self-betrayal-habit">form of self-betrayal </a>.So that means stop pretending you “don’t mind” when really you do and learn to be in your own corner.

2) Letting people take advantage of you

“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”
That means we have to try to accept that we’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea — no matter what we do. 
As long as being liked remains our top priority, we are constantly hyper-aware of how we come across.
And that’s bound to impact on your ability to show up authentically.

3) Taking other people’s opinions of you to heart

When you live in constant fear of other’s judgements it can make you incredibly shy.It seems like a better tactic to keep quiet and withdraw, rather than risk putting your foot in it by saying or doing the “wrong thing”.For sure, there are circumstances when the wisest course of action is saying nothing at all.But if we want people to see the real us, we have to be prepared to show them. That demands <a href="https://hackspirit.com/the-power-of-vulnerability/">being vulnerable </a>and opening up.

4) Keeping your thoughts, opinions, and ideas to yourself

If you don't know who you truly are, you'll never know what you really want.

‘Anything for an easy life’ is certainly not the motto of someone with sincerity.Because <a href="https://hackspirit.com/habits-of-people-who-always-stay-true-to-themselves/">staying true to yourself </a>often demands that you stick up for what you believe is right.And as we all know, what’s right isn’t always what is easy.We have to be prepared to stick up for ourselves and the way of life we most admire and respect.

1) Taking the easy way out

The following can help: <ul><li>Take time to define your core values</li><li>Focus on your strengths</li><li>Cultivate greater self-awareness of your emotions</li><li><a href="https://hackspirit.com/5-powerful-ways-to-practice-mindfulness-in-everyday-life/">Practice mindfulness </a>to be more conscious of the present moment</li><li>Practice the things that make you squirm like saying no or disagreeing</li><li>Challenge yourself in little ways every day to reveal the real you to others</li><li>Surround yourself with supportive people who accept you rather than judge you</li><li>Practice positive self-talk</li></ul>

Tips for living more authentically

We are entirely made up of dreams yearning to be lived. At every point in time, do what you can, when you can and however you can to invest your time and efforts in your dreams; directly and without evasion.

Authentic living is all about carving out a life that is based on your own special secret sauce.It’s so important because our overall well-being, the quality of our relationships, and the ability to reach our full potential often rest upon it.These are the behaviors that you need to wave goodbye to if you want to live more authenticall

Introduction

Whilst it’s admirable to take on board the feedback of people we respect, admire, and care for the most in the world —we need to beware. Being open-minded is one thing, but we shouldn’t let just anyone throw their unsolicited advice at us. If you are easily persuaded, it could be a sign that you don’t really trust yourself. But it’s important to be able to tap into our own inner truth, and that means sometimes disregarding other people’s in the process.

5) Letting other people easily sway you

<a href="https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/definition-of-success.html">Creating your own definition of success </a>and happiness is vitally important if you want to live an authentic life.Otherwise, you’re always chasing someone else’s dreams.It sounds sort of silly, but the reality is that more of us do it than we may realize.Discover what makes you happy, and be daring enough to pursue it — for you and nobody else!

6) Living your life for other people

If you want to be authentic, you have to <a href="https://hackspirit.com/taking-responsibility/">take responsibility for yourself </a>. Unless you can look at your actions, words, thoughts, and emotions with real honesty you’re never going to be able to reflect yourself with sincerity. Excuses are the masks we try to hide behind. Shifting blame onto others makes us a victim, rather than the creator of our life.

7) Trying to shift blame and dodge responsibility

It's OK to have boundaries. You can tell someone "no" without having bad feelings toward them. You also never need to explain your boundaries once laid. A wise friend often states that "no" is a complete sentence.

The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others. And the moment you are unafraid of the crowd you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom.

To say nothing is saying something. You must denounce things you are against or one might believe that you support things you really do not.

There is no way to live authentically when you are fooling yourself about certain fundamental truths.That may be truths about yourself — who you are, how you feel, what you want. Or truths about the world around you.<a href="https://hackspirit.com/habits-of-people-who-have-a-strong-sense-of-self-awareness-and-personal-growth/">Self-awareness </a>is the key to kicking any nasty habits we can fall into around denial.It allows us to lift back the veil and take an honest look at ourselves and our lives.

10)  Living in denial

How many times have you found yourself saying ‘yes’ when you really meant ‘no’?   It could be a favor that you’d rather not do. It might be to a date that you have zero interest in going on. It could be an event that you feel obligated to attend. If might be the extra work that you have no time to do. So many of us worry that suiting ourselves makes us selfish. Turning things down that we don’t want to do is an empowering act. And one that we need to learn.

9)  Saying yes when you want to say no

Stand up for what is right even if you stand alone.

You will find me a woman with a sturdy character and not easily persuaded. Once my loyalty is given, I do not sway.

Never seek to please anyone. Seek to evolve thyself.”

That’s pretty much how we get through our own lives, watching television. Smoking crap. Self-medicating. Redirecting our attention. Jacking off. Denial.

Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.

Some of the other behaviors on our list generally fall under the <a href="https://hackspirit.com/things-people-pleasers-do-that-undermine-their-self-worth/">people-pleasing </a>category. It can tempt you to: <ul><li>Be as agreeable as possible, even when you think someone is wrong </li><li>Apologize for things even when you have nothing to be sorry for </li><li>Think that other people’s needs are more important than your own </li><li>Stretch yourself too far by doing too much for other people </li><li>Swallow the negative emotions you feel toward others, such as anger and frustration </li> </ul>The bottom line is as long as you’re always putting other people above yourself in every situation — you cannot live authentically.

8) People pleasing

The greatest challenge in life is to be our own person and accept that being different is a blessing and not a curse. A person who knows who they are lives a simple life by eliminating from their orbit anything that does not align with his or her overriding purpose and values. A person must be selective with their time and energy because both elements of life are limited.

CHINONYE J. CHIDOLUE

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