“You Lose, I Win. Ha, That’ll Teach You!”

When we act assertively, we don’t withhold our opinions or minimize our feelings; instead, we make a conscious decision to share them in a way that is conducive to peace and harmony. We strive to express our needs clearly without making the other person “lose” so we can “win.” When we feel stressed, frustrated, or angry, it’s natural to want to react, blame, and make the other person suffer. On some level, we hope that, through punishment, we will teach the other person a “lesson” that will be strong enough that they will never again do what they did that hurt us.