Gauge it, not guess it...
Learn to read people's expressions and try to gauge what's going on in their mind. In that way, you will be able to steer yourself clear from the unpleasant stuff which you might get yourself pushed into. Listening and reading more and talking less helps, more often than not.
The hard truth is that people tend to call you out more, or at least first, in their minds. And the trick is to catch them there, right away, so that you don't give them the chance to spell that out for you.
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