Forget what they say—instead look at who they marry. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">A person’s choice of a spouse—or if they aren’t married, their closest lifelong partner—is much more revealing than anything they say or do in public.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">This choice tells you about their own innermost longings, expectations, and needs. </li></ul> It tells you what they think of themselves, and what they think they deserve in life (or will settle for).

See how they treat service workers﻿<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">People reveal their true natures when they deal with others who have no power and can never return a favor.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">They feel immune and free of all consequences—so they let it rip. Their true self comes to the forefront.</li></ul> This is one of the most reliable indicators of trustworthiness that you will find.

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Not all of us can stage a restaurant mishap to test somebody.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">But if you’re around somebody long enough you will see how they deal with unexpected problems.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">And those situations are precisely when their character and core values come to the forefront.</li></ul>

How do they invest their two most valuable resources? The key to understanding a person's true priorities is by looking at their two most valuable resources:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">time</li><li class="ql-align-justify">money.</li></ol> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">These reveal what a person truly values, more than just their words. While some might prefer to read palms, a glimpse at a person's calendar and monthly budget can provide much more insight.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">How we spend our time and money shows what we truly prioritize. Pay attention to these two resources, and you will gain a deeper understanding of any person.</li></ul>

If they cheat at small things, they will cheat at big things. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Beware of the small things. They may lead to big consequences in business (or other ventures). Even a seemingly tiny thing, like breaking the rules in a game of golf, can be a red flag.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">For instance, if someone is willing to cheat in a game, what's stopping them from cheating in business deals (or relationships for that matter)?</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Take any warning seriously, no matter how small it may seem. Watch out for the small things, and the big things will take care of themselves.</li></ul>

Identify what irritates people the most in others—because this trait is probably what they dislike most in themselves. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">The flaw people hate most in others is usually their own greatest weakness.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Cheaters always gripe that others are dishonest. The liar always accuses other people of lying. Parents absolutely lose it when they see their children making the same mistakes they did.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">When we look in a mirror, we dislike seeing all the flaws in our appearance, and the same thing is true when we examine other people. They, too, are like mirrors. </li></ul>

Great listeners possess extraordinary skills of awareness and comprehension. They can assess situations with tremendous accuracy, and act in ways that maximize group effectiveness.

Watch how they handle unexpected problems. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">In the final round of interviews, executives test candidates by staging unexpected problems during a lunch meeting to see how they handle difficult situations.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Beyond the interview setting, pay attention to how people react to surprises in everyday life to gauge their character and values.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Spontaneous decision-making is a good indicator of ability to handle challenges. </li></ul> Some people rise to the occasion, and others lose their cool completely.

These aren’t just useful in evaluating other people. You can use these same techniques on yourself. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Do you treat service people fairly? </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Can you handle problems and inconveniences without overreacting? </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Are you trustworthy in small things?</li></ul> Perhaps the character you need to assess is your own. 😉

Final thoughts

we are far more likely to forgive a weakness we have never experienced than one we struggle with daily.

Discover what experiences formed their character in early life <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">In an interview, a CEO focused solely on my (Authors) childhood and teenage years, stating that experiences in early life shape character and the ability to handle challenges.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">A person's character and ability to handle challenges are largely formed in the first two decades of their life, as explained by the CEO.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">This approach of looking at a person's past instead of solely focusing on their qualifications is uncommon but it proved to be effective in this case, highlighting the power of early experiences in shaping one's character.</li></ul>

Can they listen? When you encounter people in any kind of setting, from professional to social, they can choose to:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">talk,</li><li class="ql-align-justify">listen, or</li><li class="ql-align-justify">do neither.</li></ol> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">There’s often a bias against listening as part of someone’s skill set—that’s why you will never see it on a resume. </li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">I’m sure many of you believe it indicates passivity or laziness or some other character flaw.</li></ul> I think this reaction is a result of mistaking people who do (3) with those who do (2).

I wish somebody had told me these things when I was younger. I now practice them when I need to get a fast assessment of people I don’t know well.

These methods have helped me enormously—and can save you much heartache and anxiety

1.

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