You are reading an excerpt from <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/">The Challenge</a>, a newsletter where I discuss self-improvement, goal-setting, habits, time management, and health tips and tricks.Every week, you will get the following:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">a challenge to pursue to improve your life</li><li class="ql-align-justify">an infographic to track it.</li></ul><a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/subscribe">Subscribe now</a> and start your first challenge.

The Challenge

Listening is not enough. It’s only the first step.Any relationship needs an active interaction — an exchange of thoughts and ideas.So listen to what people tell you. And then, you can express your ideas or doubts.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Make relevant questions, and they’ll know you were paying attention.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Express your doubts, and they will be happy to teach you.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Agree with them, and they will consider you their ally.</li></ul>

2 — Heard

It started with the simplest of things — I spoke with people. And I made sure they would remember about me. The first time I realized the power of my behavior was in my last job interview.I stunned my interviewer with my flower shirt. And my enthusiasm got me the job, he told me later. Plus, in all three interviews, I remembered everything about what he told me. And I made sure to let him know.

How to Build a Circle of Influence (2)

I was a nobody a few years ago. And in a few years, everything changed.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">I have a fulfilling career as a software developer.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">I build a network of people who love being around me (a.k.a. I have friends.)</li><li class="ql-align-justify">And I help thousands of people become a better version of themselves (I’m talking about you, my loves)</li></ul>I built a circle of influence. But it didn’t happen overnight.

How to Build a Circle of Influence (1)

Always think about two things when you interact with someone:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">they want to be comfortable </li><li class="ql-align-justify">and they want you to focus on them. </li></ul>So, don’t use your phone. Stop doing other activities when speaking with them. And be sure they are comfortable talking to you.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Move to a familiar place.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Let them know they can tell you anything.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">And take notes to show your interest if they ask for something.</li></ul>

1 — Seen

My circle of influence made people perceive me as necessary. And that position gives you many negotiation advantages.You have the power to influence people’s thoughts. And you can use that power to advance faster in your career or private life.You can use your influence to decide what to do with your friends. People will see you as more attractive and in command. And you will often have the last say on important decisions.It all starts with making people remember about you. But how do you do it?

The Benefits of Becoming Unforgettable (2)

Make people feel important — that’s the secret you are searching for.People love to think they have control of the situation and can change their destiny. We are the center of the world, and everything revolves around us.Also, we know that’s not true. Still, we may give everything to feed the attention when anybody notices us.So, how do you become unforgettable? Make people feel important.And how can you do that?You can start with the SHR Method.

How to Become Unforgettable

The first two steps will make you connect with many people. But most of these connections will never go deeper if you don’t create any follow-ups.Most conversations are futile. And they will remain like that. But sometimes, you can use them to improve your relationship.Any time you refer to a past conversation, people will realize three things:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">You thought about them. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">You care about what they tell you. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">And you can help them.</li></ul>﻿You become reliable only because you remember what they said. And, in exchange, they will never forget about you.

3 — Remembered

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Before you Go

Jokes apart — fame and recognition bring us many advantages. They open up doors we never thought open. And they push you to do great things if you wish.But all of this recognition has to start somewhere. A circle of influence of one is not a circle — it’s a straight line.So, how do you convince people?

Fame & Recognition

The SHR (Seen, Heard, Remembered) Method is a powerful relationship-building tool that can quickly evolve connections.I’ve been using it for a couple of years. And I love it for its simplicity and efficiency.You can start using the SHR Method by respecting its three principles when interacting with someone.

The SHR Method

How many people would follow a suggestion you gave them?You may have never thought about this. But your circle of influence has always been one of the main parameters people use to give you worth.How many people could you influence? How much power do you have on the people around you?

How many people could you influence?

My circle of influence brought me many benefits — both at work and in my private life.After only one year of work, my boss told me I was doing better than many other colleagues. And that I should continue working like that.Other people told me I rapidly became the heart of the group. And that I can make people get along faster.

The Benefits of Becoming Unforgettable (1)

Take a piece of paper and put your name in the center. Then, draw a circle on half of the page. Now, write in the circle every person you think will follow your lead if you ask them to. Everyone who won’t do it will remain out of the circle.That’s your circle of influence. It represents the decisional power you have over the people you know. But why does it matter?

The Circle of Influence

The SHR Method is practical. But your confidence and body language will take it to the next level.They say we use 7% words, 38% face and tone, and 55% body language in a conversation. And even if those percentages are inaccurate, your confidence and body language matter.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Your <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/the-art-of-confidence">confidence </a>has the power to align your relationships with your ideas. It will convince people you are right. And they will fall in front of your <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/the-secrets-of-charisma">charisma </a>.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Your <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/how-to-improve-your-body-language">body language </a>says much more than you say with words. It makes people feel safe, trusted, and calm.</li></ul>

The Role of Confidence & Body Language

This week’s infographic will help you practice the SHR Method and become a master communicator. But I want to give you a challenge to get started. I am sure it will help you connect faster with people.This week, ask relationship-building questions to people you want to connect with.Relationship-building questions give people two outs:<ul><li class="ql-align-center">The easy out they will take if uncomfortable.</li><li class="ql-align-center">The involved out where they will share a story.</li></ul>For example, what are your plans for this weekend?[<a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/become-unforgettable">DOWNLOAD</a> THE FREE INFOGRAPHIC]

The circle of influence plays a fundamental role in our society.It doesn’t matter why people recognize you. But if they do, you can convince some of them to follow your lead.Also, by peer pressure, the people who follow you will convince others of your worth. Recognition builds up with a compound effect. And soon, you will run for the presidency!

The Importance of Being Known

Want to be unforgettable? Discover proven strategies to make people remember you forever. Learn how to leave a lasting impression and create memorable connections.

3 — Remembered

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MAYA ANGELOU

Maya Angelou