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Here's The Secret To Communicating With Irrational, Angry Or Crazy People

Active listening

Active listening has three components:
Paraphrase: Repeat what they have said in your own words. "If I understand correctly... "
Inquire: "You mentioned you found our proposed price unacceptable. Help me understand how you came to this conclusion?"
Acknowledge: "It sounds as if you're quite disappointed with..."

Active listening should be maintained throughout the conversation.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Here's The Secret To Communicating With Irrational, Angry Or Crazy People

Here's The Secret To Communicating With Irrational, Angry Or Crazy People

https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/12/wh/

bakadesuyo.com

4

Key Ideas

How to deal with a hothead

First off, you can't get angry too because then there are two angry people.

Tell yourself they are having a bad day. Don't try to shut them up or talk over them. It doesn't work. Instead, listen actively. Don't judge or analyze what the person is saying at first. Just try to understand from their point of view.

Active listening

Active listening has three components:
Paraphrase: Repeat what they have said in your own words. "If I understand correctly... "
Inquire: "You mentioned you found our proposed price unacceptable. Help me understand how you came to this conclusion?"
Acknowledge: "It sounds as if you're quite disappointed with..."

Active listening should be maintained throughout the conversation.

Communication is more than just words

It also includes body language:

  • 55 percent of what you convey comes from your body language.
  • 38 percent comes from your tone of voice.
  • Only 7 percent is from the words you choose.

You don't want to argue over the phone or email as they are stripped of facial expressions and gestures and unwittingly simulating a blank emotional radar.

Replying to an angry person

If you can't just listen and need to reply to a direct question, make sure you look at the problem from their perspective.

Ignore the anger and hysterics, and instead give positive reinforcement only when they calm down.

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Conversational Narcissism

Is to seek to hold the attention of a conversation on oneself. It occasionally manifests on the average person when we pretend to be listening, but we were really focusing on what we wa...

Active Listening

Is to not judge or analyze what the person is saying at first. Just focusing on listening and trying to understand their perspective.

The Three Components of Active Listening
  1. Paraphrase: Consists of repeating at the speakers a summary of what they say, so they feel understood.
  2. Inquire: Obtain all the information that is relevant to the resolution of the issue.
  3. Acknowledge: Once the issue is made clear, communicate to your counterpart that you understand it.

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Manipulation by passive and covert aggression
Manipulation by passive and covert aggression
  • Passive-aggression is an indirect way to go on the offensive. An example is when someone tries to "get you back" by resisting cooperation and giving you the "...
What a covert aggressive looks like
  • They pretend to be innocent, ignorant, or confused when they did something awful. This tactic is to make you question your judgment.
  • They don't give a straight answer to a straight question, but evade the question or change the subject when cornered.
  • They lie by omission or distortion by deliberately being vague.
  • They may either respond with charm and flattery, of will suddenly be angry.
  • They'll play the victim and make themselves out to be the one in distress.
  • They rationalize by giving a plausible excuse for engaging in inappropriate behavior, or they will downplay their behavior.
  • Covert aggressives don't feel bad, but they know you do. They will send you on a guilt trip so you will lighten your accusations.
How to deal with a covert-aggressive person
  • Let go of the pretense that if you play nice, they will play nice.
  • Know your vulnerabilities and focus on the one thing that really needs to change: yourself. You can only control what you do.
  • Set some boundaries for yourself. Be prepared for the consequences and set a support system.
  • Memorize the list of tactics used by an aggressive person. Then it is easier to recognize the attack.
  • If you're willing to accept an excuse, know that they will fling excuses at you until one stick.
  • Stay calm and polite, and avoid sarcasm, hostility, or threats.
  • Without being rude, be specific about what you expect or want from the other person. Aggressives will only participate if they can get something out of it. If they have to lose, they'll make sure you go down too. Ensure you propose win-win solutions
Charismatic leaders
Charismatic leaders

Charismatic leaders bring out our best and make us excel. Research shows that those following charismatic leaders perform better, find their work more meaningful, and have more trust in their l...

To master the art of personal magnetism
  • Speak slowly. Visualize the slow, emphatic tone of a judge delivering a verdict.
  • Pause. Those who show confidence often pause for a second or two between sentences.
  • Drop intonation. Lowering the tone of your voice at the end of a sentence sounds confident. You can even lower your intonation midsentence.
  • Check your breathing. Try not to breathe through your mouth as it can make you sound breathless and anxious. Instead, inhale and exhale through your nose.
  • Smile. Smiling projects more warmth in your voice. It's even worth doing when on the phone.
The high imagery speech

The use of imagery increases charisma.

Research shows that a high imagery speech resulted in higher ratings of charisma that a low imagery speech.

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Choose your words wisely
Choose your words wisely

Choosing wisely your words can actually be the key to a successful negotiation.

For instance, the use of 'willing' in phrases such as 'are you willing to come for a meeting...

Avoid using 'Just'

When writing emails or even in speaking, individuals, tend to use quite a lot the word 'just'; while it is a polite term, 'just' suggests also insecurity and the need to ask for permission.

Therefore, whenever you are try to show some authority, go for another word. It is safer.

Speak vs. Talk

While the two verbs are totally synonyms, their use has quite a different impact on people. Therefore, when you invite someone 'to talk', studies have shown that you are more prone to meet resistance than when you just propose them 'to speak'.

The first verb, it seems, is often associated with the idea of not paying enough attention to the other person's words.

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“In crisis situations, emotions can dictate a person’s actions at the detriment of rational thinking.”

Jeff Thompson

"We all need to be good listeners and learn to demonstrate our empathy and understanding of the problems, needs, and issues of others. Only then can we hope to influence their behavior in a positive way.”

"We all need to be good listeners and learn to demonstrate our empathy and understanding of the problems, needs, and issues of others. Only then can we hope to influence their behavior in a positive way.”

The Goal In Law Enforcement Hostage Crisis Situations

To use communication skills to get a person to change from a negative behavior to a more desirable one.

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It’s Okay To Wander
It’s Okay To Wander

People’s minds wander, sometimes up to 30 to 40 percent of the time, while doing activities like reading.

A wandering mind is invoking the good brain regions, which are associated ...

A Wandering, Creative Mind

Mind-wandering makes your brain richer and more creative. Like a creativity machine left on its own, it helps to solve problems, enrich our understanding, and process information that is otherwise left unprocessed.

Creativity Happens In Chaos

Creativity by default is a messy process. Doing creative stuff, and letting your mind wander forms new connections and helps us subconsciously compare and contrast our problems and solutions.

Our brain's neural network needs to be fed different kinds of food, at the same time.

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Types of Negotiators
  • Integrative negotiators: create value between negotiating counterparts.
  • Distributive negotiators: maximize their claim to value in the negotiation at hand.
  • Cr...
Police Negotiation Techniques

They aim to reconcile a counterpart’s problems with the need to maintain the peace for society at large.

Using active-listening techniques, maintaining an open-minded approach, and building rapport to influence one’s counterpart are some of the skills used to resolve conflict and this skills can also be used on other kinds of negotiation.

7 Essential Crisis Negotiation Skills Of a NYPD Negotiator
  • Communication: Opening communication avenues to your counterpart signals you are ready to listen and builds rapport between you.
  • Patience: Allowing your counterpart to air concerns and not jumping to conclusions or rushing towards a resolution also builds rapport.
  • Active Listening: An affective skill that helps to maintain an open dialogue and build trust between counterparts also doubling as information gathering.
  • Respect: Makes your counterpart feel understood and that their concerns are being heard and addressed.
  • Calm: its display helps the counterpart feel there is an alternative way to taking harsh measures.
  • Self-Awareness: It's establishing a relationship with the counterpart while keeping communications strategic and purposeful.
  • Adaptability: Is to adapt and respond to changing circumstances in a way that further negotiation goals.