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Follow These Tips to Define Your Personal Space

Personal Space And Our Kids

We can tell our kids about personal space using the easy to imagine ‘bubble’ analogy.

Tell them the invisible bubble around them pops when people that they don’t know get too close. It is imperative that they know that we have to be informed if anyone tries to touch them inappropriately.

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Follow These Tips to Define Your Personal Space

Follow These Tips to Define Your Personal Space

https://www.thespruce.com/etiquette-rules-of-defining-personal-space-1216625

thespruce.com

10

Key Ideas

Personal Space

Most of us have a certain distance that we like others to keep from others, depending on who the other person is. This is probably skewed now in 2020 when we are told to keep a safe distance from everyone.

Nevertheless, personal space, the distance between two people in any social, family or work environment, is like a bubble that you must be in, always.

From Person To Person

Personal space varies from one person to another, with many factors in play like how well we know the person, the relationship and trust, along with your culture.

People living in small towns and wide-open spaces prefer a bigger personal space, while new yorkers are probably used to having people in their bubble most of the time.

The Factors Determining Personal Space

The factors that determine a comfortable personal space: the gender of the two people, the professional or personal relationship, nature of the relationship (friendly or romantic), one’s customs and culture.

Average Comfort Levels

Of personal space, distance is 0 to 20 inches for intimate couples, 1-½ to 3 feet for friends and family, 3 to 10 feet for acquaintances and office workers, 4 feet or more for strangers and about 12 feet while speaking to a large group.

General Rules Of Personal Space

  • Do not touch any stranger.
  • Do not touch other people’s children.
  • Keep a 4 feet distance from other people who are acquaintances or colleagues.
  • If others are leaning away from you, you are too close already.
  • Keep space between people in an auditorium or theatre that has ample free seats.
  • Do not lean over someone’s shoulder to look at something closely on your own.

More Rules Of Personal Space

  • Do not shuffle through other people's personal belongings, especially their phone.
  • Do not let your dog litter on other people's property.
  • Do not tailgate others while driving.
  • Avoid flinging your arms on others or slapping their back/hand unless they are your childhood friends.
  • Do not enter a room without permission or knocking.
  • Do not cut others in a line.

Personal Space At Work

Open offices are a personal space disaster, and we need to be extra careful about other’s personal space. Observe professional distance even if you know your colleagues really well. Other people watching you may take things in a different way.

Office Space

  • Do not get too close to prospective clients, you might lose your sale.
  • Read the company policies regarding office relationships.
  • Do not assume your relationship with a coworker, subordinate, or supervisor is a personal thing.
  • Avoid hugging and other touches.
  • Do not disturb others as a general rule.
  • Avoid personal conversations with office workers, or reserve them for after hours.

Handling Others

If someone is invading your personal space, you can lean away if you feel offended, taking a step back. You can also inform the other person that you are uncomfortable being close and need more space.

Personal Space And Our Kids

We can tell our kids about personal space using the easy to imagine ‘bubble’ analogy.

Tell them the invisible bubble around them pops when people that they don’t know get too close. It is imperative that they know that we have to be informed if anyone tries to touch them inappropriately.

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Improve Any Relationship
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  • Be more open to suggestions and compromises
  • Give 100% of your attention to the job
  • Spend ...
Verbal violations
  • Not allowing you to speak or be heard.
  • Yelling at you.
  • Saying things that are derogatory about your integrity and character.
  • Gossiping about you.
Psychological/emotional boundary violations
  • Preying upon your sense of self and self-esteem
  • Using what you’ve told them in confidence against you
  • Lying to you
  • Criticizing you
  • Manipulating you
  • Mocking you
  • Making demands of your time
  • Bullying you
  • Lording a superior attitude over you
Physical violations
  • Moving into your personal space
  • Touching you without permission
  • Being inappropriate or too familiar towards you
  • Violating your privacy
  • Damaging or destroying your personal property
  • Threatening you with physical harm

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Eye signals
  • Eye gaze: Directly eye contact indicates interest and paying attention. Prolonged eye contact can feel threatening.
  • Blinking:  People often blink more rapidly when t...
Lip signals
  • Pursed lips: an indicator of distaste, disapproval, or distrust.
  • Lip biting: signals people are worried, anxious, or stressed.
  • Covering the mouth: used when people want to hide an emotional reaction.
  • Turned up or down: When the mouth is slightly turned up, it might mean that the person is feeling happy or optimistic. A slightly down-turned mouth can be an indicator of sadness/ disapproval.
Gestures
  • A clenched fist indicates anger in some situations or solidarity in others.
  • A thumbs up and thumbs down: gestures of approval and disapproval.
  • The "okay" gesture: "okay" or "all right." In some parts of Europe, the same signal is used to imply you are nothing. In some South American countries, the symbol is actually a vulgar gesture.
  • The V sign: peace or victory in some countries. In the UK and Australia, the symbol takes on an offensive meaning when the back of the hand is facing outward.

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Defining Boundaries

The word “boundary” can leave the impression of separation.

But boundaries are actually connecting points since they provide healthy rules for navigating relationships, intimate or profess...

The benefits of boundaries
  • Boundaries improve our relationships and self-esteem. They protect relationships from becoming unsafe.
  • Boundaries can be flexible. It’s good to think about them occasionally and reassess them.
  • Boundaries allow us to conserve our emotional energy. Without them, self-esteem and identity can be affected, and you can build resentment toward others.
  • Boundaries give us space to grow and be vulnerable. 
Determine your borders

Our boundaries are shaped by

  • our heritage or culture
  • the region we live in or come from
  • whether we’re introverted, extroverted, or somewhere in between
  • our life experiences
  • our family dynamics
Boundaries are a deeply personal choice and vary from person to person. You can investigate and define your boundaries with self-reflection.

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Decreasing Awkwardness
Decreasing Awkwardness
  • Find common interests and discuss them.
  • Encourage others to talk about what interests them.
  • Be gentle or help someone out, even if it is on a small thing.
Situations That Lead To Awkwardness
  • Walking into a room where you don't know any of the other people.
  • Being in a situation in which you don't know what you are supposed to do.
  • You are all talking amongst yourself and an unknown person approaches the group.
  • When a conversation does not go smoothly. 
  • Discomfort around food. 
  • Invading someone else's personal space—or having your own space invaded.
  • Not remembering someone or their name or not being remembered.
  • Been put in the spotlight or when others start talking about you while you are in the same room.
Personal needs
Personal needs

Working parents tend to focus all their energy on work or family and put their own needs on hold. With the current crisis, parents have even less time for their own needs while they juggle work and...

Know what you need

Take two minutes right now and list what would most benefit you. It could be taking 15 minutes to decompress after work. Or to have a few hours a week to read a book. Or even guitar lessons.

Highlight what sticks out to you the most on your list. Then decide what top few choices are suitable for your available time and finances.

Communicate your needs

To have a successful and productive conversation with your partner about your needs and desires:

  • Timing is everything. Set a time aside together that is free of distractions, relatively peaceful, and not when you are overtired.
  • Remember, you're on the same team. Handle the conversation with gentleness and without criticism.
  • Actively listen. To encourage understanding, don't just listen to respond. Truly try to understand how your partner feels.
  • It's about giving and taking. Relationships are about mutual understanding, compassion, and sacrifice.
  • Do regular relationship checkups to foster connection and open communication.
The right place for your first rendez-vous

When choosing the right place for your first date, take into account the risk that things might not work miraculously well from the first try. Therefore, better go for simple places, like pubs, for...

Keep the conversation going

If you are planning your first date with somebody, make sure to pay a special attention to the topics you want to engage in throughout the date. Keep the conversation smart and the exchange of experiences alive.

Shape your mindset

When going on a first date, make sure your mindset is a positive one, no matter what your previous dating experiences felt like. Embrace the fear of a possible failure while hoping for a pleasant outcome.

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Attachment style
It describes the way you relate to others based on how you perceive yourself and the people around you.
Anxious-Preoccupied
  • This could be you if you often feel like you give more to relationships than you get back.
  • You worry people don't value you.
  • You tend to exaggerate when you show people the value you place on them.
  • This anxiety might not be attractive to people that don't have the same attachment style.
Dismissive-Avoidant
  • This could be you if you put your independence above all.
  • You tend to think less of others.
  • You carefully guard your emotions and try at all costs to keep away from rejection.
  • You're more likely to connect with people who express the anxious-preoccupied type because they’re more likely to accept the power imbalance.

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Creating Psychological Distance
Creating Psychological Distance

Many of us have been in a situation where our emotions prevent us from responding appropriately and seeing the big picture. For example, in cases where we feel extreme anger, stress, anxiety, and s...

Types of Psychological Distancing
  • Time: We think differently about events that are far in the future, compared to activities in the near future. For events in the distant future, we use abstract terms that lack concrete action.
  • Space: We use abstract terms to describe events within a physically-near space than events that happen in a space further away.
  • Social distance: When we describe someone that is different to us, we use abstract qualities (them and us).
  • Hypothetically: We use abstract words and terms to describe events that may not happen compared to events that are more likely to happen.
Psychological Distancing and Executive Functioning

Executive functioning is the set of abilities and behaviors that is controlled by the frontal lobe, including:

  • Goal-directed and planning behaviours, such as deciding how to get dressed.
  • Inhibiting responses such as waiting your turn.
  • Monitoring your behavior and correcting mistakes.
  • Changing your behavior in response to a change in the environment.

Executive functioning helps you to regulate your emotions better, which gives rise to psychological distancing.

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Be Visual 

Readers understand and remember material far better when it is expressed in concrete language that allows them to form visual images. So trying to make the reader “see” is a good goal and b...

See The Reader As An Equal

Don't increase the complexity of your vocabulary just to give the impression of intelligence. This actually makes you look stupid.

Treat the reader as an equal. If you’re trying to impress, at best you will make the reader feel dumb. And nobody likes to feel dumb.

The Curse Of Knowledge

Once you know something you assume others do too. It’s human nature. And that leads to bad writing.

'The curse of knowledge' refers to the inability that we all have in imagining what it’s like not to know something that we do know.

3 more ideas