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How to Fight off Your Inner Critic
The fear of being alone
Concentrate on the people with very big hearts. Be honest with them about your pain - they'll find their way to you.
Thinking no one could ever love you sounds very tempting, but that can't be the truth. You've suffered, and you're honest and can be kind. That's enough for someone to stick with you.
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Key Ideas
Buildings talk to us
A rarely remarked upon feature of buildings is that they tell us something about themselves and its broader view of the world.
The Mauritshuis, a museum in the Hague compl...
Buildings don't say the same things
Some buildings can be loud or impatient. In Madrid, there's a large residential block that speaks of being bored with convention. The building is not necessarily new, but certainly up for fun.
Then there are buildings covered with dreary graffiti that talks of lacking hope for the future and of just giving up.
Buildings affect our self-conception
Buildings have a great influence over our self-conception. Very often, we don't have a stable sense of our value or society. On some days, things can feel tolerable, and we have faith in our fellow humans. But on other days, we sense our mood dropping. We wonder about the cruelty of people.
Crucially for our state of mind is the architecture that can help push us either in a positive or a negative direction. Buildings that speaks of forgiveness, gentleness and modesty can make the world feel benevolent. If we are stuck in streets that talk to us sharply about shame, about being a nobody, these messages can amplify the worst on our inner world.
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Key Ideas
The start of diplomacy
Diplomacy evolved initially to deal with problems in the relationships between countries.
Instead of leaders infuriating each other and making decisions in the heat of the moment, they ...
Diplomacy is an art
Diplomacy is the art of promoting an idea or cause without unnecessarily inflaming passions.
It involves an understanding of the many parts of human nature that can lead to strife and a commitment to handle these with foresight and grace.
Direct confrontation
Within a negotiation with someone, there is often a request that they change in some way.
A diplomat knows that it is futile to state the call to change too directly as many insist on having their way. Behind the arguing may lie a need for appreciation and esteem.
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Key Ideas
The Nature Of Work
Work, by definition, requires continuous effort, as completing anything of value, like attaining a college degree, building a business or writing a book, is a slow and steady process which spans mo...
When Doing Nothing Becomes Difficult
The mind seems terrified of the states of calm and relaxation as if work was a distraction to not let the mind come close to the worries and the existential queries. It saddles us with guilt and shame on the life we have lived, and the things that never materialized.
Doing nothing, it seems, becomes harder than doing any work that fills our time and keeps our mind engaged.
We Have To Keep Engaging Our Minds
Our work has a little known value: protecting us from a sense of despair and agony, and keeping us from doing the most difficult task: Doing Nothing.
The mind has to be kept engaged by providing it with mild challenges, one after the other, to keep it from falling into an abyss doom and terror.